Cucumber Thief Stumps Authorities



Someone in Australia has robbed over $10,000 worth of cucumbers in eleven separate robberies over the last three months.The latest robbery of 50 bags of pickles is the largest of the heists so far.
"The issue with the cucumber is how do you and I tell who owns a different cucumber?," SA Police Chief Inspector Kym Zander told ABC Radio on Wednesday.

"We're having difficulty establishing where they (the cucumbers) are going."

What do you think? How can they track down the cucumber thief?

Link Via Al Dente

They should put stickers (Little red dots or something) on the lids of all of a store's pickle jars and only that one store (Preferably a big store that's likely to get hit). Then anybody who finds a jar of pickles with a red dot on it knows it was stolen from that store (the stickers will be removed when purchased)!
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Inject some of the pickles in each batch with a weak radioactive isotope in different quantities depending on the batch. If any significant amount of the batch is stolen, one of the pickles can be identified by measuring the amount of remaining radioactive isotope.. The isotopes should be fine in the body because they use that stuff all the time for MRI experiments.
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Well it's easy enough to permanently mark the cucumbers somehow in the future if such security is of interest to the farmer, but the real problem here is how to track this year's crop, or the portion that has gone out already.

I'm sure the structure of the cucumbers could be examined, and different markers exclusive to their home patch could be identified, but frankly, who's going to spend that kind of money for testing.

No doubt, everyone knows everyone in the local pickle industry. Eventually, some stranger is going to show up with a big crop of cucumbers (or pickles) to sell and it's going to tip off the others. Police can come in ask for the paper trail and hopefully pin them down that way.

Unless the crooks are about to make a bunch of salad or relish...
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well, the answer is obvious.
He wants to do something so dastardly, so unpredictable, that it would leave Dr. Doofenshmirtz in shambles!
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As a result of the current economic crisis McDonald's was forced to lay off some long term employees.The Hamburglar had snuck in to corporate and saw his name on the chopping block list. The Hamburglar hatched a brilliant scheme to trade keeping his coveted position by offering up free pickles to the global conglomerate. McDonald's agreed. The Hamburglar proceeded to pull off the largest cucumber heist the world has ever seen and has the fry guys working double time turning them into pickles.
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I would have tainted a batch with laxatives.
Once a neighborhood complains of diarrhea, ask them who they bought from.
Also those people will be deterred from buying black market produce.

2 birds, 1 stone
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