50 Films to Watch When You're Dead

1. zav
   June 17th, 2009 at 6:16 am

   Funeral Home. Just. So. Bad.

2. heather
   June 17th, 2009 at 6:22 am

   Doogal
   The Happening
   Monsters vs Aliens

3. D Bozko
   June 17th, 2009 at 6:40 am

   I guess it's all a matter of personal taste. I actually liked "Jingle All The Way", "Lady In The Water" and "The Postman".
   However, you can add "The Fountain" and "Pathfinder" to the list.

4. Retrokatze
   June 17th, 2009 at 6:49 am

   Boondock Saints?! What?! That movie is awesome!

   My picks would be:
   4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
   The Hills Have Eyes
   The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
   Una notte al cimitero
   Devour

5. KG
   June 17th, 2009 at 7:07 am

   I'll add my two cents:

   Showgirls
   Babylon A.D.
   Natural Born Killers
   Wild Wild West
   Pearl Harbor

6. KG
   June 17th, 2009 at 7:08 am

   P.S. I actually liked The Fountain, but everyone else I know hated it.

7. KG
   June 17th, 2009 at 7:10 am

   Oh! One more--

   3000 Miles to Graceland

8. Kevin
   June 17th, 2009 at 7:11 am

   I can't believe Boondock Saints is on there. It makes the entire list invalid. I can't trust the opinion of someone who would list that movie in the 50 worst.

9. chrome
   June 17th, 2009 at 7:47 am

   kevin i couldn't agree with you more. i am also sad to see Death to Smoochy. i dunno why every one hates on that movie. its funny as hell.

10. cheechman
    June 17th, 2009 at 7:53 am

    I loved the fountain! I like movies that leave you thinking.

11. ttohid
    June 17th, 2009 at 7:58 am

    Boondock Saints...Erroneous!...no person who knows anything about movies would ever have that movie on their top 50 worst movies...Erroneous!

12. Melphistopheles
    June 17th, 2009 at 8:02 am

    1. Starship Troopers
    2. The Patriot
    3. Anything else by Mel Gibson
    4. Passion of The Christ
    or to give it's full title "Jesus Christ - Snuff Film Star" (just for good measure)

13. OddNumber
    June 17th, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Boondock Saints and Death to Smoochy really don't fit. Karate Kidd III is pretty borderline as well in my opinion.

    Melphisotpheles - I'll admit that Mel Gibson isn't my favorite actor. However, I would argue that Nicholas Cage has put out some worse movies: The Wicker Man, The Weather Man and Ghost Rider were all pretty bad.

    The Happening may be the worst movie I have ever seen.

14. Ashley
    June 17th, 2009 at 9:21 am

    Ditto to everyone else who thinks Boondock Saints shouldn't be on that list.

15. cuimhne
    June 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am

    @Chrome, totally agree. That movie is actually quite funny and has a fantastic cast.

16. HersHers
    June 17th, 2009 at 9:39 am

    Starship Troopers is a comedy and was intended as such. The pulsating naughty orifices didn't give that away? Also, even if your humor might not run in that direction, at least admit that someone's might.

    Boondock is overrated but entertaining as hell.

    Death to Smoochy is definitely not bad, with some tweaking and re-casting we could have had a mini Network on our hands.

    Fountain is a flawed movie but at least the dude aimed for the sky and there are moments of greatness in there. I understand if people don't have the patience to stick around for them.

    Natural Born Killers is hammy but a child of its time and very good as such.

    Pathfinder was unbelievably bad and so is everything else listed.

17. Jeff Vandenberg
    June 17th, 2009 at 9:47 am

    KG: Really???? Natural Born Killers? You just don't appreciate gratuitous violence and Rodney Dangerfield playing a creepy incestuous father.

    Lots of Stallone movies on this list. Wonder why, yo?

    For my money, Dune would be number 1 on this list. Jesus Henry Christ in a jumpsuit, what a waste of time.

18. Danielleb32
    June 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am

    What? Without White Chicks, I wouldn't occasionally chuckle at the line, "Once you go black, you're gonna need a wheel chair."

19. Jay
    June 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Amazing that someone hasn't added Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Never before or since have I seen a film that exudes such a foul stench of awfulness from every frame. I lament the two hours of my life that I will never get back that were spent enduring that insipid scrap of detritus.

20. Bryan
    June 17th, 2009 at 11:13 am

    The New Guy
    Pecker
    Boat Trip
    Sleeping Dogs Lie

21. LisaL
    June 17th, 2009 at 11:28 am

    *gasps* I love Starship Troopers... and The New Guy and a few other ones people have listed lol

    Hmm.. couple of movies I hated...

    Alexander
    Day of the Dead (the new one that has nothing to do with the original)
    Fast & the Furious (ALL of them)

22. Melphistopheles
    June 17th, 2009 at 11:35 am

    @hershers - Starship Troopers is not a comedy, it is a political satire. Listen to the director's commentary. The characters the slavering fanboysngals regard as the heroes are NAZIS. He says so quite plainly. Tell me you noticed that Doogie Howser was wearing a floor length leather trenchcoat and high peaked cap as he tortured and executed "bugs" and didn't think "Doogie Mengele".

23. swb1020
    June 17th, 2009 at 11:52 am

    I'm with chrome. Death to Smoochy is one of my favorite movies. I watch it quite often.

    I'll have to put Boondock Saints on my list of things to watch.

24. Jill
    June 17th, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Jay, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter brings the awesome.

25. Jill
    June 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Oh and for a really bad one, check out Fast Sofa. The only highlight is seeing Jennifer Tilly's boobs.

26. Dan of theNorth
    June 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Take Boondock Saints off the list. That was a great movie. It was entertaining all the way through!

27. Gauldar
    June 17th, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    I tried watching Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, but that movie needed some serious editing... soooo many redundant scenes. It was amusingly campy for a while, but I couldn't force myself to keep watching. I liked Death to Smoochy too.

28. Mouserz
    June 17th, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    All movies that end with MOVIE.

29. Mindy
    June 17th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    I can't believe that Phantom of the Paradise is never mentioned with these craptastic movie lists. It's truly horrible.

    Oh and don't forget Skidoo...which has the distinction of being the VERY LAST film Groucho Marx was ever in.. he actually moved the pretty girl out of the way so he could read his lines off a cue card near the camera.. and Jackie Gleason is visibly pissed off throughout the whole movie.

    2 classically bad films that everyone forgets about.. if you get the chance to see either.. watch at your own risk.

30. Jay
    June 17th, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    Jill -
    It may have been that I didn't have the proper amount of alcohol before watching JC:VH. I really tried, though...

    How about Forbidden Zone? Trying to get through that one sends my brain into emergency shutdown.

31. Allure
    June 17th, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Death to Smoochy!? that Movie is Great! remove it from the List!

32. martyingels
    June 17th, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    karate kid III is the greatest film ever made. i protest strongly its inclusion.

33. dooflotchie
    June 17th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Fight Club. They forgot Fight Club.

    And can we add TV shows? My husband is watching Chuck right now. Which he BOUGHT ON DVD! *screeeeeeam*

    The only thing I can stand about that show is the cool opening theme song. That's it.

34. rika
    June 17th, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    haven't seen any of these but i'd add Twilight and Knowing

35. Video Game Dork
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    if these are all horrible movies, and we're supposed to watch them after we die, that implies a torturous afterlife, no? I hope I don't have to watch them after I die!

36. Moon
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    The English Patient.

    Gawdawful. I didn't leave, but I should have.

37. Moon
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Jill
    June 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Oh and for a really bad one, check out Fast Sofa. The only highlight is seeing Jennifer Tilly’s boobs.

    It CANNOT be a bad movie if it has Jennifer Tilly's boobs in it.

38. Mytake
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    IJ and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
    The Thin Red Line
    Unborn
    The Quiet American (2002)

39. Tawnya
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    Hey Forbidden Zone is amazing!!! Danny elfman plays the devil!!! Fight Club should in no way be on that list even if you dont like it you have to admit you should see it to deside for yourself. Boondock Saints should not be on this list. Its not a five star movie but its not that bad. At least worth a watch.

40. LisaL
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    Oh another movie that needs to be added to that list...

    Xanadu

    We bought it for hubby's uncle (he loves all of that 70's crap).... but he already had it, so since we couldn't take it back, decided to watch it.
    Good freaking god..... no words can describe just how awful it is.

41. Captain Morgan
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Land of the Lost (Will Ferrel's latest)
    Pathfinder

42. Angela Tyler
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    50 First Dates. I don't want to spend another minute even discussing that movie. Watching it was torture.

43. tobi
    June 17th, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    I almost never read comments but this time I had to, just to see if people agree that Boondock Saints should be on the list. Definitely an entertaining film.

44. arcadia
    June 17th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    I kind of liked Caddyshack 2 and Bio-Dome...

45. CreamKreator
    June 17th, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Boondock Saints. Why? It is on so many such lists and i really can't see why. Good, funny and entertaining. Not particulary bad acting (some very memorable scenes, Willem Dafoe in drag, can anyone forget that?), nothing wrong with the script as such, decent camera work and good editing.

    It does not belong to the top 50 best films either but as bad as Gigli? Come on...

    Many critic put this movie to the worst pile but can't remember any reasons. Maybe they hate the director or something? All that negativity has caused the director not to have any job in 10 years.. and i admit he's next/only work after that is witnessing a genius at work or a very, very bad move. He's gone and done a sequel.. and it comes out 10 years after the first..

    Poor guy. Read more from the WikiPedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Duffy

46. Biggus
    June 17th, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    these were all fairly new. Worst movie of all time was Jerry Lewis in Hardly Working. Nothing touches that. A close second was The Gong Show Movie.

47. sredford
    June 17th, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Fight Club? Are you looking for a fight?

    After reading this I'm going to have to get Boondock Saints.

48. jaundicedi
    June 18th, 2009 at 1:03 am

    Barb Wire is a tongue in cheek homage' to Casablanca with Pam Anderson/Lee as Bogie. If you watch it with that in mind it is as much fun as Starship Troopers!

49. Wilfredo
    June 18th, 2009 at 2:22 am

    I just saw Death To Smoochy today! I catch it every time it's on TV. The film it's a bit uneven, but I really liked the undercurrent of creepiness.
    The only thing that was good on White Chicks was Terry Crewes performance. That dude is so underrated! More films with Crewes, I say!

50. Kelly
    June 18th, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Boondock Saints and Death to Smoochy both need to be taken off... I've seen both of them SEVERAL times - both great movies!
    In fact, it's about time to watch Smoochy again.. "It's... It's a... a... ROCKET SHIP!!"

    The worst movies I think of off of the top of my head include the newest Superman and There Will Be Blood. I also hated No Country for Old Men, but some people disagree with me on that. Botched was a trainwreck.

51. LisaL
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:15 am

    Wilfredo, totally agree about Crewes. I remember watching him first on that dumbass gladiotor type show that used to come on tv. He played a guy named T-Money lol.

    He really is a fantastic actor, and it's so funny when he plays a goofy character b/c he's looks like the last person who'd be able to pull off goofy, yet he does it SO well.

52. slash
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:49 am

    CQ was by far the worst film I ever sat through. I should have walked out. Did walk out on Top Secret though.

53. Wilfredo
    June 18th, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    LisaL, I also thought Crewes was good in Idiocracy as well.

    Slash, I am soooo glad that I didn't finish watching CQ, it had a good cast, but it looked like it was going to annoy the hell out of me.

    I think Ghost Rider should definitely be on the list. How could such a good premise go so criminally wrong?

54. Travis
    June 19th, 2009 at 12:15 am

    honestly? Boondock Saints? That is in my top 5 (for a movie on a budget of $800,000.... fan-freaking-tastic!)

    Also, Death to Smoochy and Bio-Dome were pretty funny... definitely not the worst movies ever.

    Add on CSA: Confederate States of America and the original Blair Witch Project...

    Also, Crossroads - you mean the one with Britney Spears? because the 1986 film with Ralph Macchio was great!

55. Pete
    June 19th, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Along with others, I (strenuously) object to the inclusion of "Boondock Saints" and would like some clarification regarding "Crossroads" .. .. which one?

56. bruce8505
    June 21st, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    First of all, most of these movies are bad but not that bad. They usually have a plot that you can follow and characters that are at least a bit defined. BloodRayne is as awful as any other Uwe Boll film and probably would make my list. Troll 2 is an extremely bad film that's really worth the watch. As for the other films, they are mostly just uninteresting.

    Here are a few titles of bad films everyone should see before they die:

    Deadly Prey
    White Fire
    She
    Days of Hell
    Blood Debts (anything by Teddy Page)
    Ninja III: The Domination
    Eliminators
    Hologram Man (anything Pepin/Merehi)
    Low Blow
    DollMan
    Hell on the Battleground
    Ninja Champion (anything by Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai)
    StarCrash 2
    Speed Demon
    Arcade
    Neon Maniacs
    Lethal Ninja
    Shaolin Chastity Kung Fu
    Trained to Kill
    For Your Height Only
    L'uomo puma
    Gli sterminatori dell'anno 3000 (most every post-apocalyptic Italian movie of the 70s and 80s)

    The list goes on.
    A tip: never watch these movies alone.

57. Jilly
    June 21st, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    People will probably disagree with the first one, but I thought Eyes Wide Shut was horrendous. Also, Glitter with Mariah Carey was awful. Although, I think it actually might be better than EWS...

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