Bets You Can't Lose

Posted by Alex in Bathroom Reader on May 11, 2009 at 2:20 pm


The following is reprinted from Uncle John's Unstoppable Bathroom Reader book.

Psst! Do you need a sure-fire way to make money on bets that you absolutely, positively cannot lose? (Bar fights afterwards not guaranteed, mmkay?) Here are some sucker bets, courtesy of Uncle John of Bathroom Reader:

I'll Bet ... "I can make you say the word 'black.'"
Setup: Start asking your mark the colors of various objects in the room, making sure that none of them are black or blue. After three or four objects, ask "What are the colors of the American flag?"
Payoff: When they respond, "Red, white, and blue," you say, "I win, I told you I could make you say 'blue'!" Nine times out of ten they'll come back with, "You didn't say blue, you said black." Then you say, "Now I really do win!"

I'll Bet ... "I can make you say what I want you to."
Setup: When the other person agrees to the bet, tell them to say "mutifarious verbiage."
Payoff: When they say they won't or that they don't know what that means, you've won the bet. Why? To say multifarious verbiage means to say a variety of words ... which they've just done.

I'll Bet ... "I can roll the cue ball underneath the cue stick without holding it and without the ball touching the stick."
Setup: To demonstrate the difficulty, place the cue stick over the two long side rails of the pool table. Then have the sucker try to roll the cue ball underneath the stick, which they won't be able to do - the space between the stick and the tabletop is too small.
Payoff: But you can do it. Pick up the cue ball, put it on the floor under the table, and roll it underneath the table so it passes below the cue stick above. It will never touch the stick.

I'll Bet ... "You can't lift my hand off the top of my head"
Setup: Put your palm on the top of your head and instruct the person to try to remove it by pushing up on your forearm. It works best when a smaller person challenges a bigger, stronger person.
Payoff: They won't be able to. We're not sure why; it's one of those freaks of nature (not you, the trick).

I'll Bet ... "I can remove this quarter from underneath this napkin without touching the napkin or blowing on it."
Setup: Put a quarter under a napkin. After you've set up the trick, discreetly put another quarter into your hand. Then put that hand underneath the table, say some magical incantations, and after a moment, reveal that the quarter is magically in your hand!
Payoff: The person will most likely go straight for the napkin to prove you wrong. When they remove it, pick up the quarter and you've won the bet.

I'll Bet ... "You can't taste the difference between an apple and a raw potato if you close your eyes and plug your nose."
Setup: The best way to ensure success with this one is to make them try it three times. Just once is a 50/50 guess. Three times put the odds in your favor.
Payoff: It's not really a trick. According to experts, smell and sight are more important in tasting things than most people realize. Without those two senses, the taste buds don't have enough info to send to the brain.

I'll Bet ... "You can't eat eight saltines in 60 seconds."
Setup: Make sure that you stipulate the person isn't allowed to wash them down with anything - and that they have to eat them one by one.
Payoff: Because of the saltiness of the crackers, most people will get "cotton mouth" and not be able to eat more than five or six. Don't wager too much, though, because there is the occasional big mouth that can pull this one off. But at least you've gotten them to make a fool of themselves.

I'll Bet ... "I can jump higher than this house."
Setup: Just jump up in the air six inches or so.
Payoff: You've just jumped higher than any house ever could.

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Unstoppable Bathroom Reader.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts.

If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!


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COMMENT

17 comments to "Bets You Can't Lose"

  1. violet
    May 11th, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Oh man these were so great! When I was five.

  2. chrome
    May 11th, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    I present to you a sure fire way to get a free steak diner.

    simply fins some moron who likes the knicks at the start of the next nba season. simply wager a free steak diner on them not aking the play off, the fool will take the bait and you will get a free steak dinner. it works and its a damn near sure thing..

    :D

  3. nerdalert
    May 11th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    A sure way to get your butt kicked...

  4. gambit
    May 11th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    ask a friend "What's sexy and hums?" and when your friend gives up, start humming.

  5. Kalel
    May 11th, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Drunks are so fun to play with.

  6. seefish3
    May 11th, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    I hate you, Uncle John.

    And get your hand off my knee.

  7. Jill
    May 11th, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    Interesting, but stupid...I wouldn't try these on anyone over the age of about 8.

  8. Miss Cellania
    May 11th, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    I couldn't even get my kids to fall for that first one!

  9. DaveL
    May 11th, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    Perhaps this book is part of an elaborate bet that this author couldn't get a large number of people to look stupid.

  10. chudez
    May 11th, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    favorite bet you can't lose:

    bet the mark that you can drop a raw egg over a hard floor (with nothing to catch it) six feet without it breaking.

    the twist: drop the egg at seven feet

  11. dgaicun
    May 12th, 2009 at 3:57 am

    That doesn't make sense, you did lose. Dropping an egg at seven feet and breaking it, is not dropping an egg at six feet and not breaking it.

  12. BikerRay
    May 12th, 2009 at 5:30 am

    "I'll bet I can make a million bucks writing a book about sucker bets."

    (I once lost a couple of bucks to a cute kid in N'awlins who bet me he knew where I got my shoes at.)

  13. Guybrush Threepwood
    May 12th, 2009 at 9:18 am

    I'll Bet ... "You cannot jump over a pencil laying on the floor, with your arms crossed."

    Setup: Just place the pencil by a wall.

    Payoff: The "crossed arms" is just a trick for him to wonder about the arms, and not the placement of the pencil (and your dirty trick).

  14. Miles
    May 12th, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    I don't understand the "You can't lift my hand off the top of my head" bet. I tried it on 3 people last night, and accomplished it with all of them. They were approximately 0.6, 0.9, and 1.1 times my size by mass.

    Has anyone else tried this?

  15. Starving Artist
    May 12th, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    I can't wait to try some of these... when things get real boring.

  16. emmakate
    May 18th, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    I have one! Bet someone at the bar that "I bet you $1 that I can take this shot without using my hand." When they take the bet, pick up the shot and take it. You just paid $1 for a shot!

    anyway...don't raw potatoes have cyanide in them? I wouldn't recommend doing that one...

  17. Kyle
    August 2nd, 2009 at 11:42 am

    Here's one for a pool table. Put a ball directly in front of each of the six pockets, and put the cue ball anywhere in the middle of the table. Bet your mark that they can't get every ball on the table into a pocket without scratching with only a dozen shots.

    The trick: After they make each of the six balls into their respective pockets and declare victory, bring up the cue ball. It's a ball that was on the table at the beginning of the bet. If it's still on the table, they lose. If it went into a pocket, it's a scratch, and they lose.


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