Middle School Banned Farting

1. kim17
   February 5th, 2008 at 8:26 pm

   that’s.. most likely not healthy

2. Nicholas Dollak
   February 5th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

   How very Medieval. Reminds me of a old English catch-song that might pre-date Shakespeare:

   “My Lady and her Maid
   upon a merry pin,
   they made a match at farting,
   who should the wager win.
   Joan lights three candles then,
   and sets them bolt upright.
   With the first fart she blew them out;
   with the next she gave them light.
   In comes my Lady then,
   with all her might and main,
   and blew them out, and in and out,
   and in and out again.”

   But seriously, if they’re doing it deliberately, then it’s not beyond their control, despite whatever rationalizations they make. They’re being disruptive, just as if they were belching at will. The problem is that the burden of PROVING that their flatulence is deliberate falls on the teachers & administrators. The fact that anyone can tell they’re faking it is beside the point — the law protects these kids and promotes this behavior, and they know it. They’ll abuse the system as long as it lets them… or until it dawns on them that maybe this is why no girls seem to show an interest in them. (Except for My Lady and her Maid…)

3. VonSkippy
   February 5th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

   Wait until the ACLU gets a wind of this.

4. Dr Zibbs
   February 5th, 2008 at 9:08 pm

   I never thought I would be saying these words as an adult, but “I’m driving to Tennessee tonight to fart on a principal”.

5. Cathy in Maine
   February 5th, 2008 at 9:59 pm

   Camden-Rockport is in Waldo County Maine, not TN. This was on the local news tonight.

6. Justin
   February 5th, 2008 at 10:01 pm

   @vonskippy “get wind of this” LOL

   So this is how I can finally be cool!!

7. Anonymous
   February 5th, 2008 at 10:26 pm

   Every day in the United States,
   Land of Nothing For Free,
   Another law is passed,
   Another rule is launched,
   Another freedom taken away,
   Land of Nothing For Free

   smoke marijuana

8. HM
   February 5th, 2008 at 10:37 pm

   Only in TN…

9. anon
   February 5th, 2008 at 10:41 pm

   Cathy from Maine is right, Camden-Rockport is in Maine, not Tennessee.

10. Miss Cellania
    February 5th, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    They could’ve dealt with this under the rules against being disruptive and rude, without bringing boldily funtions into it.

    It sure wouldn’t have worked when I was in school; they served us beans as a main dish at least twice a week!

11. su.wei
    February 5th, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    exactly Miss Cellania!

12. Rob
    February 5th, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    Yet another reason to homeschool (or unschool even better).

13. G
    February 5th, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    People who write school rules just don’t get it. They banned white t-shirts when I was in middle school. No one ever knew why.

14. shecky
    February 6th, 2008 at 1:54 am

    They could’ve dealt with this under the rules against being disruptive and rude, without bringing boldily funtions into it.

    I’m not so sure. When I was in seventh grade, several of us could burp and fart on command, with the obvious effect on classroom discipline. Had we been punished for being disruptive and rude, we’d pull that innocent “…but I can’t help it, I’ve got gas, Principal” routine. The rule allows teachers to specifically name a punishable offense.

    Will this rule punish kids who are innocently flatulent? It’s possible, but if my experience is any indication, rules were enforced selectively, and the wrath of the teachers generally fell on those who were pretty much causing trouble.

15. Johnald_Chaffinch
    February 6th, 2008 at 2:22 am

    whoever smelt it dealt it

16. Alex
    February 6th, 2008 at 4:31 am

    For his comment of Wait until the ACLU gets a wind of this, I hereby award VonSkippy with:
    

17. Alex
    February 6th, 2008 at 4:35 am

    Thanks Cathy in Maine and anon - I’ve fixed the geographical error.

    And if I may, let me point out that these eight graders stand a very good chance of making it big in this Norwegian show.

18. Clinton Labombard
    February 6th, 2008 at 7:56 am

    News headline from Maine 20 years from now:

    STUDENTS WHO FART ARE SMARTER

    All study and no video games does a healthy mind make, right?

19. MoonCake
    February 6th, 2008 at 8:39 am

    i smell a new game show: “Who’s Smarter than a Farter”

    @anonynous: kudos.

20. connie1965
    February 6th, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Only in America! Support these poor boys!!!
    Wear your official Fart Shirt!!! http://www.zazzle.com/bythesea*

21. wrong
    February 6th, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    The news story is bogus. The fire cracker is not a school newsletter but just a gag some 8th grade girls made up.

    http://www.fivetowns.net/crms/crms/ttimes.pdf

22. Adam Stanhope
    February 6th, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    I was so surprised to see that “Camden-Rockport” was in Tennessee, not Maine. I am pleased to see that my initial suspicions were verified.

23. Spinch
    February 8th, 2008 at 2:40 pm

    Let the boys be boys. One of ‘em will try too hard to force one out and crap their pants. That’ll put an end to it in a hurry.

24. oakling
    February 16th, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    When I was in fifth grade the teacher used to pull kids out of class into a small adjoining room and leave the rest of us unsupervised. One day this turned into a battle to see who could make the rudest fake fart noises by blowing on their arm. I don’t know if she seriously thought we were farting that much (she did have a history of being clueless and nosy, a terrible combination) or if she thought that playing along would teach us a lesson, but when she came back she lined us all up and LECTURED US ON PERSONAL HYGIENE well into recess. All about how as we got older we would find we needed to SHOWER MORE. It was painfully awkward and bizarre. If the principal of that school needs some help, I can probably track her down ;-p

25. mainecollegekid
    August 21st, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Well…This is funny. I am a Camden resident and know the whole story. Farting has not been banned from the school. The 8th graders have a fake newspaper they publish every month and this was one of the ‘joke’ stories because a student farted in class. The fake paper was brought home and a parent who works for a local paper wrote a story about it. Then other media organizations wrote stories about it as well, without doing any fact checking. It was on the national news and USA Today, all because an 8th grader got a funny idea for a fake classroom newspaper. This just goes to show how much a story can be blown out of proportion and how much research goes into the news that is delivered to the public. Sorry to rain on anyones parade, but this entire story was made up by a 14 year old.

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