Shari Custer's Comments

I realize that this is a legal issue of getting consent for recording voices. However, the fact that the kids who are bullying are not being punished in any way is appalling. They don't need to look at the evidence. They just need to take the bullied kid's complaints seriously. One of the reasons kids commit suicide or go and shoot up their schools is that they are bullied, sometimes for years, and they feel powerless and without allies in their struggle. Next time a news story about some kid who snapped and sprayed his classmates with a gun comes up, we can keep this sort of situation in mind. These kids need to feel they have someone who they can turn to and who will hear and believe them. This story has willful neglect of a child's needs on all sides (even the mother who was originally dismissive) written all over it. Being bullied is not just something that bothers kids who are "weak" - it has dire implications for brain development in kids. If you read the book "Social" by Matthew Lieberman, you can learn a lot about how difficult ostracism and bullying is and the toll it takes on the brain and body - a toll which is never recovered from.
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Like southsidecharlie, I thought the large number of green-eyed people seemed, well, incorrect. At any rate, the first woman reminds me a lot of a young Alex Kingston.
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In a free country, no one should be "required" to do anything. I do believe people need to learn empathy and to have the ability to take on the perspective of others, but forcing them to take low-paying jobs isn't the answer. The answer is for parents to raise their children in such a way that they cultivate such understanding through volunteer work, a diverse base of friendships and experiences, and exposure to education about how the world works beyond their doorstep. The thing is that this doesn't only apply to wealthy people. Everyone needs it. I grew up in poverty, but I needed to learn that, yes, rich people have problems, too. Everyone suffers in some way. No one is free from difficulty and acting as if money means your life is easy is just as prejudicial and wrong as beliving poverty makes it nothing but misery. Empathy is not something that is required based on class.
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The American resistance to this is puzzling. Most homes have carpets and central heating so being shoeless won't make your feet cold. Also, I don't think many people visit other folks homes without socks or stockings. Perhaps in the summer, when people wear sandals, it may be an issue, but then if your feet are dirty, stinky, etc., the sandals are already going to reveal that anyway.

The whole point of not wearing shoes in the house is to reduce cleaning efforts as well as to ensure that some of the more disgusting bacteria isn't tracked into the house (such as that which is picked up by trodding on animal feces). I've heard people complain that taking off their shoes exposes them to people's bare floors or carpet where they may pick up bacteria on their feet, but they don't mind tracking things from outdoors into that person's home? It's very disrespectful, not to mention simply dirty. Someone will be cleaning a carpet much more often if shoes are worn on it.

If it's too inconvenient for someone to take their shoes off when entering my home, then it's too inconvenient for me to host such a selfish person.
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" I won't even mention how I didn't give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive."

As someone who was bulimic, there was a time when she did give in to those cravings and couldn't stop herself from overeating and then throwing up. During that time, I'm sure she wanted to resist many times, but for various reasons (psychologically), she could not. As someone who endured this hardship, she should have empathy for people who are not yet or may never be capable of "resisting" these urges. She should understand that it's not about being "lazy", but about being in a place in your life emotionally, physically, logistically, genetically, etc. where you can make better choices and dig yourself out of the hole you're in. And just because she managed it does not mean others should be able to do as well as each person lives in a different skin and has different challenges.

Rather than hold herself out as a triumph, she should remember when she also was a failure and regard those who are still where she was with kindness and compassion. But, then, she's selling something now, isn't she? And it's not healing and wellness.
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Profile for Shari Custer

  • Member Since 2013/08/08



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