I bought a German made plus size female mannequin from a store that was getting newer and cheaper ones. My mannequin had glass eyes. My friend and I got the thing home and we put it in the basement in a corner. The basement was rather dark and what little light came in through the windows made the eyes shine. I put a long black Cher wig on it's head and an apron that had a bib portion on it so it covered her 'bits' perfectly. Looked just like a dress. We came upstairs and sat down in the livingroom and waited for my son, who was in high school, to come home. Finally he came. I said hello and then, in my stern mother's voice, said: 'Bobby', I am sick and tired of you leaving all your clean clothes laying around on top of the washing machine. Please take care of this at once!"He went to the basement door and my friend and I listened to him clomping down the stairs. All was very quiet for about 20 seconds and then I heard my son make a loud gasp and then a scream and he came running up the stairs yelling and crying real tears about some woman in the basement with a knife. My friend and I just laughed and laughed. Gotcha, kiddo. That was payback back for scaring me a few weeks earlier.***My son and I tried to scare each other every so often. I won that round***
I never knew her but I did. I never met her but I invited her into my house every week. I knew her all my life but she never knew me. But I will miss her for a very long time. Bye, Betty. GOD bless you.
When I was 15 my town had a huge snowstorm. My friend and I decided to make 2 snow people. We were laughing so hard as we got to the part of the male snow man's anatomy. Apparently a neighbor had been watching us in our endeavors and had no problem with a female snow person's anatomy. But when it came time to endow our male snowman the neighbor came out yelling at us, saying we were evil girls, shame on us, etc. Sheer sexism and not fair. We always see pictures, sculptures, movies, etc of naked women but nooooooooooooo to viewing the male anatomy. Such fragile egos some people have. Our snow people would have been true works of temporary art.
When my family moved from Boston to Detroit, Michigan we lived at my aunt Mabel's house while our new house was being built in a suburb west of Detroit. I was11 and was hand feeding a very tame squirrel in the backyard. My mother yells "Don't let that thing bite you!" Seconds later it bit my finger. Mom wraps up my bleeding finger telling me to tell no one about the bite. Which I did at supper resulting in immediately being driven to the hospital where they gave me a huge tetanus shot, some other unknown shot AND a rabies shot. Got the whole series of shots, too. The emergency room doctor informed me that there were 2 types of rabies shots and they had to test my blood to make sure I got the right serum. Apparently this same doctor gave a young girl the wrong serum weeks earlier and she was now in a permanent vegetative state. WTF??? I found out years later squirrels don't get rabies because of their metabolisms...
Where's my spray gun and cans of paint? That home feels so tired? old? lacking in energy? lonely? sad? lost? misunderstood? I can't find the right word(s) to describe how it feels to me. But if it were mine that black shadow of a house would be getting some new happier colors of paint.
While I was most recently in the hospital the emergency night nurse (30+ yrs experience) and I had a discussion about what was the strangest thing a patient ever had inside them. He named a few things - hair brush, spatula, dog chew toy, vegetable, candle, toy train, umbrella handle and a plastic cactus. We both had a good laugh over the same response every patient said explaining how the item ended up inside them: "I fell on it." Uh huh, sure you did.
A "good frog"? Oh, sure, that's just what he wants you to think. That's just his way because deception is his middle name. At least he's not one of those pinkish transparent flesh eating frogs from Moss Bluff, Louisiana that always seem to find their way into your house to be found months later shriveled and mummified in your bathroom closet or hanging on to your back door window in the night watching you, watching and waiting so they can get between the door and the door frame to get squished when you let the dog out. Oh, yeah, he's a real good frog...
A 'muppet-ass looking bird'. Good to know scientific descriptions are following the centuries old traditional ways of imparting important bits of knowledge to the great unwashed. Good job, sir. I say, good job!
Mom wraps up my bleeding finger telling me to tell no one about the bite. Which I did at supper resulting in immediately being driven to the hospital where they gave me a huge tetanus shot, some other unknown shot AND a rabies shot. Got the whole series of shots, too.
The emergency room doctor informed me that there were 2 types of rabies shots and they had to test my blood to make sure I got the right serum. Apparently this same doctor gave a young girl the wrong serum weeks earlier and she was now in a permanent vegetative state. WTF???
I found out years later squirrels don't get rabies because of their metabolisms...