Why settle for Vitaminwater? Go for the flavor you really crave with Meatwater! It comes in many flavors: Beef Jerky, Beef Stroganof, Cheese Burger, Chicken Teriyaki, Dirty Hot Dog, Fish'n Chips, Hungarian Gulash, Italian Sausage, Peking Duck, Tandoori Chicken, Texas BBQ, Wiener Schnitzel, and introducing the new Escargot flavor! From Till Krautkramer. Link -via the Presurfer

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A velvet worm {wiki} attacks a beetle with slime. What a way to go! -via Dark Roasted Blend

In case you are lost, or drawing a blank on what to do for April Fools Day, don’t be blue (or orange or gray). You might find these pages useful. In case you want to design your own April Fool post. -via the Presurfer, YesButNoButYes, and Metafilter.

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Film maker and writer Terry Jones discovers a colony of penguins, which are unlike any other penguins in the world. It’s an ad for the BBC iPlayer. -via Arbroath

Dark Roasted Blend has a picture gallery of spaghetti intersections, baffling roundabouts, and terrible traffic jams. It’s a wonder we ever get anywhere! Link -via Geek Like Me

I love clever error pages. Finding one helps to take the sting out of not finding what you wanted in the first place. Pingdom shows us 17 Brilliant Error Pages. Pictured is the 404 page from JibJab. Link -via Digg

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Dean Kamen, inventor of the Segway, has been working on a next-generation prosthetic arm that will blow your mind. A man who lost his arms 26 years ago can now peel a banana without squishing it. Read more about the project at ieee spectrum. Link -via Reddit

New homeowner Wayne Berkowitz heard cat noises from inside the drywall of his house. Workers spent days tearing out the new walls and ceiling to get the frightened cat out. Link -via Metafilter

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The Poetic Prophet, aka The SEO Rapper has a nerdcore rap about properly coding your html to optimize your website. Now can someone explain to me why strong is better than bold? -via Viral Video Chart

Jedi Master Jonba Hehol was one of the founders of the UK Church of the Jedi. His friends and family know him as 36-year-old hairdresser Barney Jones. He was giving a TV interview in his back yard last week when a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet and a black trash bag leapt over the fence and began attacking him!

Wielding a metal crutch - his lightsaber presumably being in for repairs - the Sith Lord proceeded to lay about his opponent, whose Jedi powers proved inadequate for the task of defending himself.

After besting Master Hehol in single combat, Vader, who The Sun reports was under the influence of alcohol, went on to assault the camera crew and a hairdresser.

Police are investigating. Link -via Arbroath

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The kid at the spelling bee had never heard of the word, but neither had I. It is pretty funny! Try to use sardoodledom in a sentence sometime this week. -via the Presurfer

The people who brought you I Can Has Cheezburger? were inspired by the Jamphat collection of rap lyrics explained in graph form, and created a new blog. GraphJam invites everyone to make and submit funny graphs and charts about ...anything you wouldn’t normally find on a graph. If you have an idea but no graphic skills, there is a generator included. Link -via Wired

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Talk about a creature of habit! The dog cannot be convinced there is no glass in the door, even when confronted with evidence. -via Bits and Pieces

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At one time, Quincy, M.E. was my favorite TV show. It ran from 1976 to 1983. If you’ve never seen it, the new lyrics will explain what it was all about. -via b3ta

Dark Roasted Blend welcomes guest blogger M. Christian as he profiles six very scary animals that you might not even see before they kill you!

As anyone who has studied nature can attest, the world and all its creatures (great as well as small) really are out to get us. Some of their attacks are easy to defend against, and we - in general - know how to survive them. Yet there are creatures on this globe that can snuff us out like a cheap candle in a stiff wind.

Pictured is the yellow-banded poison dart frog, which exudes a slime that can kill you just by a touch. Link