Putting scotch tape (or cello tape) on a cat is a piece of fun from my childhood. It always makes them walk funny without doing harm. A piece of tape on a kitten's tail will cause them to chase their tail.
I get it, but the chart is still hard to read. A tree would be easier. You wouldn't believe how many second and third cousins of mine do not understand this at all!
As for the bacon, the guy's previous day's post had a to do list, which included taping bacon to the cat. http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004456.html I believe he was trying to find out if readers got that far. They did, and expressed doubt whether he would do it, so he had to. http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004457.html
A: Just for the halibut!