John Wantland's Comments

I realize that, and I wasn't saying the husband wasn't partly to blame here. It's just we have these preset preconceptions of how these things work, so you gotta be careful that you're not simply playing into stereotypes. Yeah, even stereotypes can be true once in a while, but that means you gotta be that much more careful that you're going from the evidence and not the stereotype. We're just so ingrained with the notion of, "Wife's never in the mood because the husband's a total clod," that it's easy to come to that conclusion without even thinking. I mean, virtually every sitcom on the planet has played that gag for laughs. So you really need to stop and examine the situation when you take that and apply it to real life. Again, it's entirely possible, and even probable, that the husband is really more to blame here than the list lets on. I am not dismissing that. It's just we gotta tread lightly here, especially since we're only getting half the picture. We have a list with no context. Who knows what the real situation is?
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If the roles were reversed, and it were the wife trying to initiate and, for whatever reason, the husband wasn't in the mood, would anyone even think to blame the wife's approach? No, they'd all come down on the side of the husband for not wanting to be intimate with his wife. Don't misunderstand, I'm not defending this or dismissing the idea that the husband needs to approach it the right way, just pointing out how gender differences influence how we perceive these things. As a society, we always act like if there are problems in a couple's sex life, it's always the husband's fault, no matter what those problems are. Being that it's an shared act between two people, I think this is a terrible way to view things.
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Profile for John Wantland

  • Member Since 2014/07/19


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