You see, it was a trap all along. The "weekend" was just a block of time devoted to responsibilities that you didn't have time for during the regular workweek. When you run out of time to finish them (not when you finish them, as that will not happen), then Monday arrives. Lunarbaboon understands.

Because a Big Mouth Billy Bass animatronic singing fish brings class and joy to every room, it only makes sense to multiply the number of Big Mouth Billy Bass in order to multiply the elegance and happiness.

And so the Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club, a shuffleboard bar in Chicago (like an axe-throwing bar, but you play shuffleboard while getting drunk), bought 70 of these gems and mounted them on a wall.

It called in engineers to design custom hardware and software to make all of the fish in the chorus sing simultaneously. The result is, as you can see and here, magnificent.

-via Dave Barry

Botnik Studios is a collection of human (or so they tell us) comedians who use artificial intelligence to re-write famous stories, such as a new chapter from a Harry Potter novel and the script for a new Seinfeld episode. Their system predicts new text based on inputted text.

In this case, it's the collected scripts of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Botnik Studios has produced episode 279, which is titled, "Here's Looking at Q." Read the whole thing.

I hope--I pray--that the TNG actors meet to record a reading of this script. Someone will have to fill in for the computer voice, as Majel Barrett Roddenberry has passed away.

-via Geek Tyrant

At least, that's what a lot of people are seeing. The "Longhorns Patio" has a distinct shape, especially when it gives birth to the team onto the field.

Let's back up a bit for our non-Texan readers (my condolences on being non-Texan).

The Texas Longhorns are a football team based in Austin. I understand that there's a small school attached to it. Their stadium is being modified to include the above feature that looks like the logo of the Longhorns . . . and possibly something else.

There have been many jokes on Twitter.

I just hope that the University of Alabama's Crimson Tide doesn't get any ideas.

David Burge, an antique car expert and respected internet scoundrel, informs us in a Twitter thread that the Maytag Corporation used to make cars.

Although it's most famous for its household appliances, the company founded by F.L. Maytag made cars for several years, starting in 1910. It was most famous for its hill climbing cars. During the Great Depression, it also produced what we would today call go-karts.

That line of go-karts was powered by the same gasoline-fed engine available in its washing machines.

It would make a lot of sense to have household appliances, if they were available at all, powered independently.

Laurent Simons (left) of Amsterdam will soon become the youngest person to ever complete college. In December, he will complete a degree in electrical engineering from Eindhoven University of Technology.

What were you doing when you were nine? Yeah, same here.

What will Laurent do now? He's keeping his options open. He's considering California because the weather is nice or Oxford or Cambridge because he could get a fairly good education there. Stuff quotes Laurent's father:

"There is definitely competition to get him on the course. If he goes to America then we will go out with him and split our time there with his grandparents," Alexander, 37, said,

"But Oxford and Cambridge are also in the major league" the Belgian dentist said, "and it would be very much more convenient for us."

John Wilkes, who went to Jesus College, Oxford, taught Laurent in summer courses. He said: "He really was a delight to tutor and very well balanced; able to be like a child and an adult at the same time.

"I taught him when he was six and we studied at the level of a 16-year-old. I really would recommend Oxford for him."

Laurent only began his university studies in March. His tutor said he was three times more intelligent than his next cleverest student.

Photo: Laurent Simons

Master craftsman Ara Ghazaryan of Los Angeles made this nearly microscopic chess set by hand. You can watch a video of the crafting process at Guinness World Records, one of which Ghazaryan holds.

The pawns are a mere 2.3 millimeters tall! Playing this game requires not only a sharp mind, but also a steady hand and a pair of tweezers.

This chess set is a true luxury item. Ghazaryan made it from Brazilian cherry wood, yellow and white gold, and diamonds.

As Ben Franklin said, "Twinkies are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." You should enjoy them for every meal of the day, including first breakfast and second breakfast.

So it is proper that the companies Post Holdings and Hostess Brands are teaming together to make a Twinkie-shaped and flavored cereal as a replacement to your morning bowls of regular Twinkies doused in milk. CNBC reports:

The cereal is intended to emulate the classic sponge cake snack in all aspects, including taste and the oblong shape, according to a press release.

“In developing a cereal version of the iconic Twinkies, our top priority was focused on delivering the great Twinkies flavor in each bite,” Josh Jans, brand manager of cereal partnerships at Post, said in the companies’ joint press release. “We think fans will find that it not only tastes great with milk but also outside the bowl.”

-via Dave Barry | Photo: Post Hostess Twinkies

The rough texture of Mentos candies allows the carbon dioxide within Coke and other carbonated beverages to separate, leading to a violently expansive chemical reaction.

This person adds Coke and Mentos to what appears to be a hole in the ground. You won't believe what happened next.

It's a clever solution to a simple problem, and one apparently widely used by the good people of YouTube.

-via Nag on the Lake

For years, Dianna Wood of Burlington, North Carolina has wanted a power washer. This year, her husband gave her one as a birthday present. She felt inspired to clean her driveway--and more.

Narwhal is a 10-week old puppy who lives at Mac's Mission, an animal rescue center in Cape Giradeau, Missouri. In addition to his regular, aft-mounted tail, he has a little one sticking out of his forehead. X-rays confirm that it's not connected to anything and offers only decorative function. BBC News quotes Rochelle Steffen, the operator of Mac's Mission:

Narwhal is not yet available for adoption as the staff want him to "grow a bit more and truly make sure the tail doesn't become a bother or a problem".

Ms Steffen said Narwhal was one of hundreds of dogs dumped in rural Missouri.

Those taken in by Mac's Mission, who mostly had special needs - deformities, clefts, trauma, "anything major", would otherwise be more likely to be put down, she said, so "there is a great need to give them a chance".

"We give them that chance."

-via Nag on the Lake

Scientists at University College London studied thirteen newborn babies. The researchers found that when the babies hiccuped, there was a surge of neural activity. They speculate that hiccuping teaches babies how to regulate their own breathing. CNN reports:

Scientists found that contractions in the babies' diaphragms produced three brainwaves, and believe that through the third brainwave babies may be able to link the 'hic' sound of the hiccup to the physical contraction they feel.

Kimberley Whitehead, the study's lead author, told CNN: "The muscle contraction of a hiccup is quite big -- it's good for the developing brain because it suddenly gives a big boost of input, which helps the brain cells to all link together for representing that particular body part."

Whitehead thinks that hiccuping adults are just engaging in an old reflex that is no longer useful. It's a holdover from infancy.

-Thanks, Virginia! | Photo: Rachel Wilder

Due to a scheduling mix up, Ben, an employee of a Waffle House in Birmingham, Alabama was working the overnight shift alone. Almost 30 people had crowded into the restaurant and Ben was trying to manage cooking, serving, and cleaning all by himself. He was overwhelmed.

So one customer put on an apron and got to work. Then another did, too. Ethan Crispo, a hungry customer and witness of the incident, talked to the Today Show:

"The look on his face was just bewilderment,'' Crispo told Sanders.

An unidentified male customer then decided to help him out, grabbing an apron and going behind the counter to wash dishes.

Another customer, Alison Stanley, went behind the counter to brew some coffee — in her stiletto heels and sequined dress.

"I don't think it's anything special,'' Stanley told Sanders. "He needed help, so I got up and helped out." [...]

Crispo had his usual order, double plain waffle, as he took in the scene of strangers helping out Ben on his shift.

"Humanity truly isn't good, it's great!" he said.

-via Dave Reaboi | Photo: Ethan Crispo

Brent Walter has invented what he calls the Volksprod. It's a minibike with a custom frame wrapped with a vintage fender from a Volkswagen Beetle. It's a precision-crafted work of art; he even casted the aluminum badges and the footrests himself.

Don't worry about the rest of the Beetle. It's a sharp-looking hot rod now.

-via Design Boom

The premise is simple, yet brilliant: elephants eat a vast variety of plants, but digest only about a third of them. So why not pass on those flavors to drinkers by mixing the essence of that poop into alcohol?

Put your hand down. That's a rhetorical question.

Les and Paula Ansley of Mossel Bay, South Africa believe that the value of Indlovu Gin lies in its close ties to nature. That's surely the reason why, when they collect elephant poop for their distillery, they use bare hands. The Associated Press tells their story:

They described the gin’s flavor as “lovely, wooded, almost spicy, earthy” and one that changes subtly with the seasons and location.

The gin bottles are marked with the date and coordinates of where the elephant dung was collected. “So, you’re able to compare almost different vintages of the gin,” Ansley said.

After about five sizeable bags of dung are collected for a batch of 3,000 to 4,000 bottles of the gin, the droppings are dried and crumbled, then washed to remove dirt and sand. Eventually only the remains of the fruits, flowers, leaves and bark eaten by the elephants are left behind.

Nature is amazing.

-via Dave Barry | Photo: Ibhu