Japanese Twitter user @thumb_tani is a master of balance. He'll put coins, glasses, fruits, and other household items on top of each other and they will stay in place!
He's not cheating at all. As you can see in this video, he really can just line up items vertically.
Not surprisingly, he's also an expert juggler. I suspect that there's a lot of overlap between these two skills.
-via Nag on the Lake
This guy, who deserves to be inducted into the Guys in Action Hall of Fame, roots an ice auger in place and goes for a spin on top. Now I want to move to some frozen hellscape in the north, such as Oklahoma, in order to try this fun wintertime activity!
Content warning: foul language.
-via Debby Witt, who comments that "It's a miracle that our species has survived the invention of the internal-combustion engine." I guess that means that I can take her turn.
Alexander Christofi, a book publishing editor (!), took to Twitter to confess to a ghastly crime: he cuts his books in half through the spine in order to make them physically smaller and therefore easier to carry around and mutilate further in his spare time.
It's just you, Mr. Christofi. I won't even read literary abridgments on principle, let alone physically abbreviate the books.
SparkNotes, which operates a very funny Twitter account that you should follow, had the best response:
-via David Burge, who prefers his books cut diagonally, like sandwiches.
"Have you heard of the River of Blood? Apparently bathing in it makes you lose all of your memories. Do you know where it is? Because this encounter wants me want to take a dip."
"They say that beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. But I don't think that even eleven eyes could find you attractive."
"Help me out here. Looking at you, I can't tell whether I should be casting Dominate Person or Dominate Monster."
Cosplayer Ginny Di recently brought us fifty pickup lines inspired by Dungeons & Dragons. Apparently your use of them resulted in consecutive natural ones because she's offended by your existence. Watch her insult you in one hundred creative ways for nearly ten minutes. Then drown your sorrows with a Potion of Greater Healing.
Content warning: foul language.
-via Geekologie
From Flashbak comes a fascinating promotional comic dating back to sometime in the 1970s (WorldCat gives a publication date of 1960, but WorldCat is not always accurate with bibliographic data).
The comic, which was excavated by the ever-fascinating website Comics with Problems, shows Ronald McDonald rounding up juvenile delinquents while out on crime patrol. He delivers them, one by one, to scouting organizations that fit their age and gender. The kids are happier, healthier, and more socially connected as a result.
Ibride is a French furniture and furnishings design firm. Its artists have a flair for the surreal, especially mixing animal forms into humans and practical objects. Among their newer projects are shelves and tables that look like animals.
The term in Nazi ideology was "gleichschaltung." It meant that all aspects of German society and culture--even and especially children's literature--had to reflect the Nazi perspective. By the end of twelve years of Nazi rule, even Latin, physics, and algebra books in Germany were thoroughly Nazi.
The occupying powers were disinclined to engage in the book burning that characterized the Nazis, but ultimately decided that it was necessary to purge Germany of Nazi ideas and, specifically, literature. At Lapham's Quarterly, historian Kathy Peiss writes about how the occupiers rooted Nazism out of libraries:
Local army commanders closed libraries and ordered librarians to halt the circulation of objectionable works, although this effort was haphazard. New guidelines hammered out in June made clear that public libraries were to be brought into line with publishers and booksellers. They required that all forbidden materials be removed from open shelves and placed in secure rooms, available only with the express permission of the military government. Staff members filled out Fragebogen, detailed questionnaires intended to reveal Nazi affiliation or beliefs. Library directors were required to sign a certificate stating, “I fully understand that it is my responsibility to see that the library is completely denazified.” Applications to reopen a library certified that “no ardent Nazi will be employed” and no literature circulated that supported Nazi doctrines, militarism, or discrimination on the basis of race, nationality, creed or political opinion.
-via Debby Witt | Image from Frank Capra educational film Your Job in Germany.
For a week, the Promethean craftsmen at the Mars Wrigley factory in Waco, Texas labored to create the world's greatest Snickers bar. It measures 12 feet long and is the equivalent of 43,000 regular-sized Snickers bars, thus providing servings for 10 people.
This bar has secured a Guinness World Record. Mars Wrigley created it for a commercial that will air at the next Super Bowl on February 2.
You can watch a delicious news video about the creation of this Snickers at UPI.
-via Dave Barry | Photo: KXAN
Sora News 24 introduces us to the talented musician and Twitter user @oktj_. She's got two nostrils and she knows how to use them. Just plug in two recorders and she's ready to go. She's so good that she can play two different melodies at the same time. Give her something that she can work with her feet and she can become a quartet.
In this video, @oktj_ plays the popular Japanese song "The One and Only Flower in the World." That's a pun in Japanese because the words for "flower" and "nose" sound alike.
Have you taken down your Christmas Tree yet? It can be quite a chore. At a certain point, usually in June, it's more efficient to just keep it up.
So why not use it throughout the year to celebrate other holidays, such as Valentine's Day, Captain Picard Day, and Thanksgiving?
Instagram member Turtle Creek Lane is in the mood to do precisely that. She's removed the Christmas ornaments on her tree and added decorations for Valentine's Day, which have been in stores for at least a month.
And she's not the only one. Metro has a roundup of other Valentine's Day Trees on Instagram. Get in on the action while there's still time to be a trendsetter.
-via Dave Barry
Do you love testicles? Of course you do!
So let's take a road trip this Saturday to Fredricksburg, Texas, which is holding the first Texas Testicle Festival. Testicles of all sorts will be available for you to enjoy. The San Antonio Express-News reports:
Testicles from calves, lambs, roosters, turkeys and other animals are considered delicacies in other parts of the world. And that's what the festival is celebrating — people who enjoy eating animal testicles.
Joe Bachmeier, an organizer with the event, said the festival will include turkey, lamb and veal testicles. The organs were imported from professionals that performed the removal of the testicles. They will be battered, fried and grilled at the festival.
-via David Burge | Photo: Texas Testicle Festival
David Ostrom of Paola, Kansas is gripped in legal combat with his ex-wife, Bridgette Ostrom, of Harlan, Iowa. Having witnessed the destruction of his fortunes at her hands, Ostrom requests to meet her or her champion on the field of honor to resolve their disputes in civilized fashion.
Ostrom filed the request with the presiding judge and requested twelve weeks of time to prepare himself, as he must train with the katana and the wakizashi, the blades of true samurai warriors. The Des Moines Register quotes him:
"To this day, trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States," Ostrom argues in court records, adding that it was used "as recently as 1818 in British Court."
Matthew Hudson, attorney for Bridgette Ostrom, responded:
Hudson argued that because a duel could end in death, such ramifications likely outweigh those of property tax and custody issues.
"It should be noted that just because the U.S. and Iowa constitutions do not specifically prohibit battling another person with a deadly katana sword, it does prohibit a court sitting in equity from ordering same," Hudson wrote.
-via Geekologie | Image: HBO
I am, of course, breaking the theatrical tradition of mentioning both the Scottish play and the American band by name. But since I have already brought ill fortune upon myself by doing so, let's go all in.
The Tumblr user Schmerg the Impaler wrote (at least, as far as I can trace back), revised lyrics to the Smash Mouth song "All Star" with events from Shakespeare's play Macbeth:
Some witches once told me
The throne was gonna hold me.
I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed.
They were looking kind of weird
They were women but with beards
And they said there’d be a crown upon my head.
See a dagger coming and it won’t stop coming
Home to my wife and we murder King Duncan
Didn’t make sense not to live for the crown
Your cred goes up but your mind goes down.
So much to plot, so much to scheme
So what’s wrong with taking the king’s seat?
You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never shine till you kill Banquo.
Hey now, you’re a Scot star, get your kilt on, go slay
Hey now, Thane of Cawdor, get the show on, this play
And all the witches agree
None of women born can harm thee.
Last year, students from the Ramona Convent Secondary School in Alhambra, California sang the lyrics for the trailer of a production of that Scottish play.
-via reddit
The problem with most dog parks these days is that people look at you funny or even make rude comments as you chug from your box of wine. They may ask intrusive questions such as "Do you even have a dog here?" or "Where are your pants?", creating an unwelcoming atmosphere.
The Pack Indoor Dog Park plans to resolve these problems when it opens in Comstock Park, Michigan in the summer. The Detroit Free Press tells us about this refined establishment:
Raechel Macqueen, co-owner of the forthcoming indoor dog park, said the 10,000-square-foot space will include open space for dogs to play and a seating area for their owners with food and drink.
The idea began brewing for Macqueen in April 2019 shortly after she had her baby and struggled with the logistics of taking their dog to the dog park in terrain not suited for a stroller.
"And I thought, 'Wouldn't it be so nice if there was somewhere that we could take our dog in Michigan that would be indoors and I could sit with her in one area and my husband could play with our dog in another area so he could get some exercise and attention?' Macqueen said.
[...]
The indoor park will include two main spaces, one just for dogs and adults and one for people to sit, eat, drink and hang out, with activities for children. Macqueen said they worked to make sure the space was open so people in the seating area could clearly see their dog.
-via Dave Barry | Image: The Pack Indoor Dog Park
Randa Haddadin, an artist in Dubai, doesn't always use a paper sketchbook. Her legs will do just as well. On her Instagram page, you can see her flowing, ethereal line drawings of women and cityscapes.
