I invented the Squatty Slides, The first platform sandals with a retractable base that helps put your legs in the optimal position for doing your business. pic.twitter.com/7Aa1QerPLi

— Unnecessary Inventions (@mattyxb) November 14, 2022

The premise behind the squatty potty is that the optimal position for defecation is with the knees raised. Just sitting on the conventional toilet with one’s thighs parallel to the ground is not enough, so a stool tilts them backward.

But people will look at you strangely if you carry around a potty stool just in case you need to relieve yourself while out of the home. That’s why Matty Benedetto of Unnecessary Inventions developed Squatty Slides. These slip-on shoes have telescoping bases that elevate the legs so that you’re already ready to deliver the goods even while away from your home squatty potty.

Yes, it's a bookcase. So it doesn't look that special. From the a cursory glance, it looks like the work product of an ordinary hobbyist. But redditor /u/themaestro152 of Marksville, Louisiana is a master of his craft. Watch the video and you'll see that the dividers in this bookcase slide.

The client who commissioned this custom piece wanted movable dividers, but on an all-wood project. Hidden in the undersides of the shelves are t-track slots that allow her to move the dividers where the wants to fit the organizational needs of her book collection. Careful routing, fitting, and a lot of paste wax resulted in this smooth motion.

Automotive safety gear is rarely designed to protect your genitals from the impact of a crash that could reduce them to a pulpy, useless mass of bloody tissue. So we should be grateful that the designers at Hyundai are looking after our interests. But its newly patented crotch-level airbag isn't designed specifically to protect our nether regions.

Carbuzz explains that a common problem in car crashes is that people wear their seat belts too high. They're supposed to rest low upon our hips so that the impact of a crash is absorbed by the pelvis. If the belt is too high, a human body in motion tends to slip down or "submarine", driving the seat belt into the belly.

This new airbag deploys at crotch-level to prevent this downward motion, keeping the seat belt at pelvic level.

-via Dave Barry

The Turbo-Encabulator is a classic engineering joke that dates back to at least 1944. It's a long, deadpan description of a fictitious piece of new technology. It is, from an engineering perspective, complete gibberish.

In 1977, Bud Haggart, an actor from many industrial training films, produced a now-famous video version of this script, supposedly describing a turbo-encabulator developed by Crysler. At the 1:54 mark of the video, actor Mike Kraft takes over the description of this imaginary machine.

A decade later, Kraft reprised Haggart's role in a sketch created for Rockwell Automation. But this veteran actor wasn't done yet. A few months ago, Kraft created the above video describing even further advances in encabulation with the HyperEncabulator, which was invented by SANS, a professional organization for cybersecurity professionals.

Let us be grateful for the march of progress.

-via David Burge

In his latest video, Tom Scott visits this unique ferry design in Denmark. The Udbyhøj Cable Ferry across Randers Fjord is a cable ferry in the sense that motors pull the ship along undersea guide cables back and forth between its destinations. But it's also a cable ferry in that it's powered by an electrical power cable that gradually unrolls on a drum mounted on the side of the ship.

The ship carries 70,000 people per year with an average of 88 trips per day. Occasionally, it must stop to slacken the guide cables and allow deep-keeled traffic to pass--as all cable ferries must. But the electrical cable just rolls up on the ship.

YouTube maker Scott Prints created this gag for his car. No, it doesn't actually eject the passenger, but it is a wired button that does activate something.

Specifically, it's wired to a garage door opener. The device lodges into a cubby in his car. This video shows his step-by-step process for designing and building the gadget.

Scott Prints hopes that his next passenger asks about it. He already has a few lines prepared:

• "It came with the car. I've never actually pushed it." (while reaching for the button)
• "It's for my other job."
• "We'll get for that. But first, who did you vote for?"
• "Eh, don't worry about it. Also, don't push it."

He asks that viewers suggest their own lines to feed to unwary passengers.

-via Hack a Day

Hans Talhoffer was a Fifteenth Century German martial artist who was a master swordsman. He earned his living by, in part, teaching fencing. He was a well-educated gentleman who could write well and produced several written works about armed combat. His book Fechtbuch includes illustrated instructions about how a man and a woman could fight a formal duel and be evenly matched.

Dr. Kenneth L. Hodges of the University of Oklahoma provides images from this text along with translations. Talhoffer advocates sinking the man into a pit, giving the woman a mobility advantage to use over the man's greater physical strength:

Here is how a man and woman should fight each other, and this is how they begin.

Here the woman stands free and wishes to strike; she has in the cloth a stone that weighs four or five pounds.

He stands in a hole up to his waist, and his club is as long as her sling.

-------------------------------

I'd like to note that this story has circulated the internet for the past few months as procedures for "divorce by combat" in Medieval Europe. Various blog posts and website articles attribute the claim to Prof. Hodges, but did not link to anything he actually wrote. This made me suspicious. Like a recent story about a Medieval duel between a man and a dog, this story, which seemed too good to be true, did not survive some brief fact-checking.

-via Super Punch

Our feel-good news story of the day comes from Bellevue, Washington, where a criminal faced accidental justice. Idaho News reports that a 17-year old shoplifter who prosecutors say is a member of a gang of shoplifters tried to run out of a Louis Vuitton accessories store with $18,000 worth of purses that were on display.

He was in such a rush that he didn't bother trying to open the glass door that stood athwart him and freedom. After smashing head-first into the door, he fell to the ground unconscious. A security guard on site detained him until police arrived.

-via Dave Barry

My son playing dead to try to attract vultures pic.twitter.com/OACKQh3BBX

— The Birdist (@TheBirdist) October 22, 2022

Nicholas Lund, a birdwatcher and science writer in Portland, Maine, is passing along his life lessons to his son. In this video, the boy lies still on the ground in the hope of attracting circling vultures to approach him.

The child is not doing anything novel. Lying down on the ground to attract carrion feeders is apparently a shared practice for ornithologists when they are children.

BBC News reports that there are about twenty wild wolves living in Hoge Veluwe National Park in the Netherlands. They have no fear of humans and one was recently recorded strolling next to a human family in the park. Park officials suspect that some people have been feeding them, which encourages them to seek out humans.

Since wolves are dangerous to humans, park officials would like to make them afraid of our species and avoid contact with us. So they plan to equip rangers with paintball guns to shoot at the wolves. The paintballs will teach the wolves that humans should be avoided, as well as mark which wolves have been shot.

-via Marginal Revolution | Photo: Retron

Essayist Gerard Van Der Leun is now in his 70s. He is a Baby Boomer and grew up in the postwar prosperity of Los Angeles. When he was a little boy, his family moved to the scenic mountains of the town of Paradise in nothern California.

Van Der Leun was 9 and his brother, Thomas, was 7. They enjoyed the freedom of wandering through the woods of this old gold prospecting territory, having adventures as young boys should. While exploring the wonders of the area near their home, the boys found a box of dynamite.

Yes, actual dynamite.

In a beautiful essay titled "I Once Had Fortress in Paradise," Van der Leun tells the story of what he and his late brother did with that dynamite. And he tells that story masterfully.

-via Instapundit | Photo: US Forest Service

Tim Berners-Lee and his colleagues famously invented the World Wide Web in 1993 at CERN--the European Organization for Nuclear Research. CERN's facilities are in Switzerland so it's commonly said that the Internet was invented in Switzerland.

But that's not quite correct. David Galbraith writes that CERN's facilities actually cross the French border, but the main entrance is in Switzerland, which is why it is thought of as a Swiss location. But Building 31 of the scientific research complex--where Tim Berners-Lee actually worked--is actually a few feet across the French border.

There's a commemorative plaque at CERN noting the invention of the internet. The plaque, though, is in Switzerland, which contributes to the popular confusion about this French invention.

-via Kottke

Denis Jaffré, a French beekeeper, lost half of his beehives to the stingers of Asian hornets, which are an invasive species in his country. But now it’s payback time and he’s targeting the creatures that murdered his beloved bees.

Design Boom introduces us to Jabeprode, which is a baited trap that lures insects inside. Bees are small enough to exit through a mesh screen, but Asian hornets aren’t.

Both insects can pass through the exterior mesh, but only bees can get through the interior mesh to access the bait. The hornets, unable to escape, die…eventually.

Jaffré could make a lot of money off his invention, but he sees more focused on killing hornets. So he’s helpfully provided a YouTube tutorial that shows you how to make your own Jadeprode. Now that’s dedication!

How else would you expect us to give children candy on Halloween? FIRE MISSION!!!
🇺🇸 💥 🎃 👻 🍬 🍭 🍫 🍪
💥Blast credit: 1-78 FA#happyhalloween #motivationmonday @178FABN1 @USArmy @TRADOC @6_fires @7Fires3 @USAFAS @U_artillery @75thFA_BDE @434FA_BDE @428THBDE @3ADABDE pic.twitter.com/j8ip6xG4pJ

— US Army Fort Sill (@OfficialFtSill) October 31, 2022

I think that it's a M142 High Mobility Artillery Rocket System (HIMARS), which is currently in use by Ukrainian forces against the invading Russians.

At Fort Sills, Oklahoma, home to America's field artillery, the US Army is deploying at least one unit to propel Halloween candy to local trick-or-treaters. If I interpret the tweet correctly, it's from the first battalion of the 78th Field Artillery Regiment.

-via Super Punch

English is a peculiar language, what with its many letters that are left silent. To make pronunciation even more challenging, which letters are silent is not always consistent. This is often due to the introduction of words from foreign tongues, such as French and Texan.

Internet comedian Matt Colbo addresses the complexity of English pronunciation by imagining an encounter in the woods with an alternate universe version of himself--one from a universe in which every letter is pronounced.

As far as encounters alone in the woods with versions of yourself from alternate universes, that's a pretty safe encounter.

CONTENT WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE.

-via Nag on the Lake