Keith Massey magister est et scholarium multarum linguarum, in quibus sunt Biblica Hebraice et moderno Arabico. Celebris factus est in YouTube propter videos de eo docens linguam Latinam in schola physica et in online publica. Haec posterior categoria includit translationes et cantus celeberrimas vitae The Beatles, ut "Yesterday." Sed hodie est Nativitatis, ita nos circum larem congregemus et prosapias Nativitatis decantemus quae homines in generationes susceperunt. Superius est, sane, "Jingle Bells."

I have two sisters. They are both single.

Another Holiday is approaching with no brother-in-laws in sight.

We need to change that.

The girl on the far left is my wife - she’s not looking for a boyfriend (at least I don’t think so).

32 Year Old Sister - far right.

•… pic.twitter.com/RID467r7Vt

— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023

Jared Doerfler is a businessman with a focus on the golf industry. He thinks like a businessman and it shows in how he is trying to recruit husbands for his sisters, who are currently unmarried. He is, accordingly, requesting applications from gentlemen interested in dating his sisters.

Applicants should complete this Google Form, the results of which are evaluated by a search committee consisting of himself, his mother, his wife, but not his father, who disapproves of the enterprise.

The blog Core77 shows us this curiously designed baseball cap. It has notches cut into the brim, one on either side. Why? The answer is below the fold.

Furoshiki is a traditional Japanese form of wrapping objects, such as gifts or bento boxes, in cloth. Much artistry goes into the cloths used and the means by which they are folded and tied.

Pictured above is a shoe likewise called Furoshiki which is inspired by that traditional artform. The shoemaker Vibram offers a line of shoes that, instead of tying with laces, one wraps around the feet.

Core77 introduces us to the Defender 250, a e-bike developed by the German manufacturer Dolas. What makes this design unusual is that there's a third wheel in line with the other two. All three are powered by hub-mounted motors juiced by a 48 volt battery. The rear wheels have independent suspension to allow for a smooth ride.

It's Friday night and the many hours that you have spent developing your online dating profile and combing through others have finally paid off. You have a first and hopefully not last date. Naturally, you want to impress your evening companion, so you take them to the fine dining establishment of McDonald's. You don't need a reservation, but do need to dress to impress.

That's why it's great news that McDonald's and the Crocs brand of footwear are offering a line of four different limited edition croc designs inspired by the fast food's iconic images and characters.

Dr. Varsha Jain of the University of Edinburgh is a space gynecologist. This means that she is a gynecologist who specializes in medical care for astronauts. Science Focus, an online magazine that is part of BBC News, interviewed her about what we humans can expect when and if humans begin procreating in space.

Menstruation among female astronauts is fairly normal, so, hypothetically, fertilization should be possible. It's hypothetical because we know of no attempts to complete the process in space. That said, pregnancy is very risky because of the high levels of background radiation that astronauts experience. An unborn child's DNA is especially vulnerable to radiation damage.* Gravitational load when leaving or entering a planet's gravity well can lead to serious complications. Dr. Vain advises that we humans conduct more research about how to make interplanetary pregnancy safer.

-via Dave Barry | Image: Dung_Dang

*Translation: super powers.

That waters that surround Antarctica are trapped in place by the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, which encircles that continent and keep marine life inside isolated from the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian Oceans. Marine life in those waters are unable to interbreed with outsiders and have developed evolutionary advantages particular to this environment. These adaptations include fish with translucent blood and the ability to absorb oxygen through their skin, starfish and sponges with extreme longevity, and, in general, colossal size in comparison to their counterparts elsewhere on the planet.

Minute Earth, a YouTube channel that educates people about science, worked with the National Science Foundation and the marine ecology-focused Bik Lab at the University of Georgia to create this video.

-via Laughing Squid

Florence Hackman of Cincinnati, Ohio must have some secrets to her longevity and suggestions that we could incorporate into our own lifestyles. Her birthday plans provide immediate guidance.

19 News reports that Mrs. Hackman will celebrate her birthday with the boys at the Deerfield Township Fire Department watching pro football and drinking Fireball Cinnamon Whisky. Her beloved Cincinnati Bengals will presumable demolish the Minnesota Vikings.

-via Dave Barry | Photo: WXIX

Our gingerbread house takes the cake this National Gingerbread Day! Deanna with the Tax Office really topped herself this year with her Gingerbread @bucees. You can see her creation at the tax office location in Georgetown, 904 S. Main St. pic.twitter.com/4TYiM9mhpx

— Williamson County (@wilcotxgov) December 12, 2023

Buc-ee's is a chain of roadside convenience and hunting supply stores. We Texans regard them as the ultimate place to stop on road trips for gas, food, and sparklingly clean bathrooms. There is devout brand loyalty to the chain and people commonly sport clothing with the iconic Bucky the Beaver logo on them.

Deanna Vaters, an employee of the county north of Austin (where Buc-ee's locations are thick on the ground) and her husband made this gingerbread model of a nearby Buc-ee's complete with model cars and lights. They made many of the human figurines to resemble her co-workers.

-via Dave Barry

I thought it would be funny to write a song about how we all hate/love @MariahCarey's amazing 'All I Want For Christmas' but in the style of The Pogues 'Fairytale of New York'.
It ended up being way more of a tear jerker than expected.
You can get it here:… pic.twitter.com/xuacn7xfXX

— Brittlestar (@brittlestar) December 11, 2023

As Christmas approached in 1994, people around the world discovered Mariah Carey's now-iconic song "All I Want for Christmas Is You." It has since become one of the most popular Christmas songs of all time. For 29 years, people have heard it on radios and over the loudspeakers at stores.

I like it. The song has, alas, been banned from my own household's Christmas soundtrack, so I have to use headphones when it comes on. Some people who shall go unmentioned loathe the song.

Brittlestar, a Canadian internet comedian, understands the love/hate relationship that Christmas celebrants have with "All I Want for Christmas Is You." In this song, he expresses how the song has become an inevitable part of the season.

Today, I ran across the above image on Twitter. It made me laugh because it reflects the historical reality of the industrial disparity between the United States and Japan during World War II. The Japanese Empire was doomed because it gravely misunderstood both American culture and the importance of industrial capacity in a war waged in the 1940s.

To my knowledge, the United States did not have a ship dedicated to producing birthday cakes. But it did have a vessel devoted entirely to the mass production of ice cream for sailors. This was a BRL (Barge, Refrigerated, Large) of the US Navy that could manufacture 1,500 gallons of ice cream every day.

Yes, my sources are unclear about whether it's 1,500 gallons per day or or per hour. But at that point of ice cream production, it no longer matters which is correct.

-via The Last Great Arrakian Dynasty

Twitter user Ted Merz shares this photo that he snapped from New York City. It shows a conventional delivery bike, which are common in the city. But this one has a printer mounted over the front wheel. The printer is loaded with legal size paper and has a port (presumably a USB) to connect to laptops.

What's it for? In the Twitter thread, commenters suggest possible uses. One remembers a bicycle messenger who was also a notary public, which lawyers found particularly useful. Another suggests that it's designed for, specifically, printing and delivering contracts.

I'm also curious what kind of printer can take this kind of a beating and still work.

-via Super Punch

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons reports on a recent scholarly journal article which considereswhat is the aesthetically ideal shape for the male buttocks (content warning: nudity). The authors, who published in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, surveyed 2,095 people, of whom 60% were male. The researchers showed the respondents photos of men's butts and asked for ratings.

In survey revealed a general preference for butts that are midway between flat and protruding, as well as between narrow and wide. Dimples are highly valued, too.

-via Study Finds

Photo via Andrea Fistetto because my wife says that I'm not allowed to just use a selfie for this post, even though that would be the obvious choice.

Rovaniemi, Finland, the capital town of Finnish Lapland, has long claimed to be the home of Santa Claus. The winter weather of northern Finland is certainly suitable for Santa Claus, his reindeer (which are native to the region), and his sleigh.

Children around the world are responsive to this claim and, each year, Santa Claus's cabin in the woods in Rovaniemi receives about 30,000 letters from children. That's a lot of mail and Santa needs your help sorting it.

That's why Airbnb is offering a one-night stay in the cabin, which has three beds and one bathroom.