Mark of Mark's Middle-Aged Metal is returning to songwriting after a couple of decades away building up a middle class lifestyle in the suburbs. He's got a serious death metal message about the importance of carefully cultivating one's lawn in order to keep the wife happy and impress the neighbors with one's badassery.

With a gravely voice, Mark proclaims the need to mow down everything in his path with his "red death machine" riding lawnmower. Like a warlord in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, he brings "order to chaos" with the swings of his mighty blades against the never-ending onslaught of the natural world.

-via Laughing Squid

Lorem ipsum is a corrupted and nonsensical adaptation the Latin text De Finibus Bonorum et Malorum by Cicero. Graphic designers often use it as placeholder text to illustrate what writing would look like on a finished product. It also makes for a zesty wrap when served with cheddar and (I suggest) spicy mustard.

Redditor /u/whatdhuman found this creative adaptation of the ancient Roman recipe at work. Fruere cibo, sed ne perdas caput tuum.

-via Super Punch

You may see news articles about organic food proliferating on the internet. This is because people increasingly care about their health and the dangers of industrialized food. Hence a revival of interest in Mountain Dew.

Writer and filmmaker Ellen Lang has experimented with recipes that incorporate Mother Nature's nectar into common foods. These include grilled cheese sandwiches. The cheese is a paste made from reduced Mountain Dew, cream cheese, and shredded cheddar cheese, then spread onto bread.

How does it taste? Lang kindly gave her creation to members of her beloved family. Lang's mother says that it "Definitely gets worse with every bite."

-via reddit

When a driver sees a pedestrian about to cross a street a crosswalk, the driver is supposed to yield by coming to a stop and allowing the pedestrian to cross. Not everyone is aware of this rule and the police of San Francisco would like to change that. Naturally, this goal necessitated dressing like chickens.

The San Francisco Gate reports that police leadership required their subordinates to wear the chicken costume in order to increase their visibility. In the above video, Lt. Jonathan Ozol is unable to cross when a car drives right through the crosswalk. An officer on a motorcycle speeds off to confront the driver.

-via Colin Rugg

Taylor Swift supports Travis Kelce @taylorswift13 @tkelce @Chiefs #tayvis #football #taylorswift pic.twitter.com/WT4n21NaWZ

— Fried Rice Art (@friedriceart) September 18, 2024

It is an ephemeral art that lasts for only a split second, which is why it is necessary to play back the video recording in slow motion.

Alissa, an artist in Dallas, produces what she calls fried rice art. She carefully arranges mosaics composed of rice on boards. A precise flip flings it into the air while temporarily retaining its order. That shatters after just a moment. But that moment is a perfect one, as you can see demonstrated in the above portrait of Taylor Swift.

-via Massimo

The Difficult Chair is, well difficult. The Easy Chair is easy and thus has certain advantages. But as one Instagram commenter notes, you really need to experience the Difficult Chair to appreciate the Easy Chair.

So, inspired by this comic by Dan Piraro, let us endure the Difficult Chair to ensure that our children may have the liberty to study the Easy Chair. This plan does, though, assume that we are able to have children after sitting in that chair.

TikTok is the modern equivalent of central Italy in the Fifteenth Century. It's the heart of a renaissance of intellectual development in which daring pioneers push the frontiers of human understanding beyond walls imposed by the reactionary elements of our society. It's why air fried Twinkies are able to exist.

@MorganChompz tests and evaluates mass-marketed foods in her home laboratory, but she also performs experiments at the edge of scientific certainty. Having heard that it was possible to cook Twinkies in air fryers, she conducted her own study. To follow her Promethean example, set your air fryer at 400° American and toast your Twinkie for three minutes. The result is a perfect balance between chewiness and crispiness.

-via The Takeout

Cartoonist Mark Parisi illustrates the proliferation of tipping as a practice for services that do not traditionally solicit tips. This dog really hopes that you wil click "Custom".

In the past year or so, I've seen automatic payment systems asking for tips and outrage from people on X and in real life objecting to this practice. But with the rise of AI, I accept that it may be worthwhile giving in to this shakedown. Perhaps tipping a robot now delays my future rightsizing into biomass energy.

YouTuber @CallDuckOfficial loves call ducks, which are a specific breed and, as far as I can tell, the most adorable breed. Chip and Clover live fun and pampered lives with their human, who gives them all of the comforts that an anatine companion could yearn for.

Nonetheless, Chip the duck is ungrateful and sometimes harasses his human. In this case, he prevents the human from tying his shoes.

-via Laughing Squid

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791) was marked as a musical genius from early childhood. Over the course of his life, he wrote over six hundred pieces that survive to this day. Now we can add one more composition to that list. The Guardian reports that the staff of the city libraries of Leipzig, Germany, have found a previously-unknown work.

Mozart probably composed the piece in late childhood. It has seven small movements for a string trio and, when played, lasts about twelve minutes. The manuscript is likely to be a copy of the original and dates to about 1780, fifteen years after the original was written. Scholars have titled it Ganz kleine Nachtmusik.

-via Ted Gioia | Image: Royal Opera House Convenant Garden

Design Boom introduces us to Mamonaku Kohi, a Japanese-styled cafe in Quezon City, the Philippines. It's not a place where you can park yourself for a couple of hours, sip your drink, and enjoy free WiFi in an air conditioned environment. The service point is literally a roughly-cut hole in the concrete wall.

George Washington was of English extraction and his family can be traced to northeastern England as far back to at least the 11th century. You can visit the manor house inhabited by the earlier Washingtons (then called Wessyington) in the town of Washington in County Durham.

The beautiful Durham Cathedral, built in the 11th century and substantially developed in the Fifteenth Century, is an architectural treasure. John Washington, a Benedictine monk and abbot, oversaw much of the 15th-century expansion.

A more recent plaque to honor John Washington's work notes that the monk's family has earned "everlasting fame in lands to him unknown," which is truly a great fortune for any family.

-via Grizzlegutweed the Bear | Photo: Kaihsu Tai

グラスに満ちた月 pic.twitter.com/uh8tfTYx3V

— Tatsuya Tanaka 田中達也 (@tanaka_tatsuya) September 16, 2024

Today, September 17, is harvest moon festival day in Japan. It is a traditional time, a Japanese tourism website explains, for viewing the moon at night. Tatsuya Tanaka, a professional miniatures artist and long-time Neatorama favorite, offers this lovely image of astronauts sharing a drink while back lit by the full moon.

The image appears to be three miniatures on top of a glass of beer which is lit from the bottom by an LED.

-via Spoon & Tamago

Serving curatorial realness fr.#museum #history #royalarmouries #genz #armsandarmour pic.twitter.com/tOLNbYGvKB

— Royal Armouries (@Royal_Armouries) September 14, 2024

The Royal Armouries in Leeds, UK is a military history museum that showcases important artifacts from British military history for the past millennium. It's totally slay.

Recently, the institution released this promotional video encouraging people to visit this sigma museum. The value is gyatt. So no bed-rotting. Head to the Royal Armouries in Leeds for, hopefully, an entire tour like this.

-via Rebekka

Brian Rust, a professional trombone player from a family of trombone players, was diagnosed with an intention tremor. A CNN affiliate in Madison, Wisconsin reports that treatment involved placing wires in his brain to stimulate areas of it. The patient must be awake during this kind of surgery so that he can respond to tests as the device is implanted.

With the permission of his neurologist, Rust brought his trombone into the operating room and played it (or at least manipulated the slide) as part of the tests. Now Rust is able to turn the device on and off and maintain greater muscular control.

-via Dave Barry