1. Flick light switches up for "on", not down.
2. We are dead serious about driving laws. Tickets are part of municipal income.
3. A $10 martini will have three times the alcohol.
4. When a map shows a hiking trail, there will be a real trail, not a poorly marked series of stiles.
5. Contrary to popular myth, restaurant food portions will be much smaller.
6. While I am on the subject of drinking, beer will have twice the alcohol.
7. The food selection will be greatly increased. Try everything. (Except the fish and chips. You will be greatly disappointed.)
8. The only kitchen appliance you will know how to use is the dishwasher. Ask for help.
9. Our Internet speeds are crap. Get used to it. Nothing to be done.

What a delight they must be. I wish that everyone could have a pair like those.

Hy needs to keep working his magic. This was triumphant!

Dp you have a novel or twenty within you? I know an agent. But, then again, you must as well.

A professional dancer that I used to date would talk about classes at late as the 70's in which the choreographer would not let them drink water. It was supposedly good to train one's body to operate dehydrated.

I frequently feel like getting out and pushing the progress bar myself.

They certainly needed to do something after launching the worst ad campaign in recent memory.

1. Goodwill has a discount policy. Only managers can give a discount but do it frequently.

2. Much of the merchandise is not "free". It is donated and a donation receipt is given to the donor. If the merchandise is sold for less than the donation receipt, Goodwill is in violation of tax laws. In some circumstances, companies give items to good will for a tax deduction and those items will never be discounted. (Around here they have pink tags.)

3. That being said, my cynical belief is that the employee was no modern day Robin Hood and was likely funneling expensive items to cohorts for little or no payment.

What? There are different types of cinnamon? Learn something new every day.

A friend wrote an almost true-to-life Western novel ("Wide Open" by Larry Bjornson, by the way). Even though it has won almost every literary award in the genre, some people do not like it because it is "kind of slow". That is code for, "Not enough people getting shot."

Ah, yes! I remember "Horse with No Name" as the biggest hit with the stupidest lyrics. Later on in life I learned that pop lyrics need to be evocative (and occasionally provocative). Poetry is optional.

Hey, Stop That!

I get paid by clueless individuals to teach them how to use the over-powered, clumsily-programmed grandpa-boxes that computer salesmen like to push.

I watched for three minutes, and might have missed something, but did not hear or see anyone play anything but guitar strings.