I just clocked a guy in the eye with my iPhone for grabbing my waist. First thought: "Is my iPhone okay?"
— Bree Olson (@BreeOlson) July 7, 2012
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) April 3, 2012
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40yrs and still can't conjugate verbs.
— Annabel Oakes (@annabeloakes) August 22, 2012
RT @michcoll: A handy way to remind yourself that you're alive is handling some jalepenos and then putting your contact lenses in.
— alexa chung (@alexa_chung) March 23, 2012
~Original illustration by:Â Wobbly Goggy~
RT @untresor: "I want you to remove your bonnet. Stop. That's it. Stop. Now unlace that bodice. Stop. You are a dirty pioneer woman. Sto ...
— Got 'Em Coach (@GotEm_Coach) August 17, 2012
~Original illustration by:Â Wobbly Goggy~
I'm playing Hide & Seek with my niece. I know she's under the bed, but I'm enjoying the peace and quiet. She's been there since Sunday.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) September 4, 2012
The spelling bee would be better if the kids had to say "to the" between each letter in their word.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) June 1, 2012
Everything you need to know about who a person really is can be found in their iTunes top 25 played songs.
— Jeff Wild (@jiffywild) September 7, 2012
~Illustrated by:Â Chelsea Burdick~
Overheard a hipster say "Quinoa is kind of 2011" so I lit his beard on fire.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 23, 2012
~Original illustration by:Â @Pants~
Today is the kind of day where I shouldn't leave the house unless I have Yoshi and like three extra lives.
— Rory (@RorynotRoy) June 4, 2012
RT @jeffklinger: Fuck 10 minutes, I want a snooze button that says, "tomorrow."
— SpiveyAssassin (@shellyspivey) August 2, 2012
~Illustrated by: Chelsea Burdick~
There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 15, 2012
Sometimes I get sad thinking about how the Kool-Aid man has to sleep standing up so he doesn't spill all that delicious Kool-Aid.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) February 8, 2012
To the first person who put a pen behind his ear, HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORK
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 26, 2012