Going to the dump, er "landfill" is still one of my most favorite things. They get me.

Calling my Dentist. That was way too sweet.

I think that's what I've got. I have an African Gray and when she's in a bad mood I walk right up and put my finger out for her to "set up." *chomp*

In 25 years as an Undertaker I loved writing obituaries. Fascinating lives within a word limit. Obituaries are a paper boat you sail to future generations. When there's a death in your family take the opportunity to tell the world about them.

We did this with three Shetland rams and Winter Squash. Every day they would run in excited circles as I hung another from the rope.

First: Not to be a title Nazi but, if animals aren't on endangered species lists then what is? Next. I think most animals are endangered, even the ones we don't put on a list. The Indian Rhino is "doing fine" but what happens when all the other rhinos are poached? Finally, wolves. Ask a rancher out West and they'll tell you that they have a "shoot on sight" policy. They will gladly put their numbers even below the former fifty-five. That's still pretty endangered to me.

Why I want these glasses: I'm the guy staring at the eyeglass board thinking, "I want simple, plain, not goofy or trendy eyeglasses." Which is weird because I am also the guy who says, "I want everyone to want my shades." These glasses will be a statement of "yeah, I look through them, not at them." Plus, they're the kind of thing Mr. Magoo would wear, and he's cool. Hide them behind a stylish pair of Post Cataract Surgery Wrap-Arounds and I'm ready for anything.

Wow! These guys rock. They should be called the Badger Brothers. This is seriously hard, underappreciated work.

She was awesome. The band and the leg kicks. hahahaha.

All very revealing, but what about brass bras?

I knew they loved my girlfriend more than they loved me!

It's usually just me and the hens but every year I build a brush pile in the shape of a hen, open a beer and host the "Smoldering Chicken Festival." The hens say everyone's invited but anyone looking to take photos must preregister and request written permission to...

I've seen a mother antelope hop over her fawn to induce it to fall flat. Once the fawn was down, mom slowly trotted away, keeping my attention. Way to go, Mom.

The life vest pull! hahaha