A quick read of Genesis 24 (in the Christian Bible) will show that swearing by male "privates" (either one's own, or the other person to whom one is swearing) is an old practice. Abraham told his servant to place his hand "under my thigh", which is considered a euphemism to describe what is actually being held when one puts his hand under another man's thigh.

Pretty much a no-brainer. A 4-pack of Charmin lasts me just over a week, maybe two. A 4-pack of Scott Tissue lasts me well over a month and a half. I don't know (or care) if the Scott product actually has 1000 little squares per roll; I'm more concerned that there's enough on the roll to be there when I need it.

seriously overweight girls reach menses, on average, about 2-3 years before their normal-weight counterparts.

It appears to be a dental grip for pulling teeth. Or it could be a form of old-tyme ice tongs, from a time when delivery men would bring huge blocks of ice door to door.