I guess I don't disagree with any particular point. The "won't shed a tear" part struck me the wrong way, and that was my reaction. I suppose I wouldn't literally shed a tear either, but I think I'd be something other than indifferent. I surely wouldn't hold it against the shooter.
Seriously? You're all just way too mature for such a thing? Fine, if that's how it is, then I'll just have to do it myself.
Penis.