These were sold by enterprising street vendors in the vicinity of Archimedes' home, just in case he had another "Eureka" moment...

Office Guy Shirt & Tie S

I think it's pretty easy to tell if something is said with malicious or patronizing intent; if it's said in a friendly manner, then it's just a term of endearment... however some people however seem to almost strain themselves in the effort to find things offensive.

This is the awkward love-child resulting from a brief affair between Wolverine and a very seductive Moulinex

Office Guy Shirt & Tie S

It's a walking-frame for elderly centipedes

Office Guy Shirt & Tie S

This is a Christmas cake slicing set

Office Guy Shirt & Tie S

It's a good old-fashioned can of whoop-ass!

Heart Deco S

This device is used by the Literal Police whenever they're asked to crack a difficult case...

Heart Deco S

Following a terrifying accident involving Play-Doh and a microwave, he emerged a mutant. By day, he masquerades as a mild-mannered metaphor for Things Not Particularly Useful, but by night he fights the good fight; diving head-first into locks whose keys have become illegally lost, wiggling about a bit before emerging and saying "Er, sorry dude..." A much-loved hero of the lucrative 24hr locksmith industry, it's Straightened Paper-clip Man!!!

Heart Deco S

This is a 2-bit employment generator used in the House of Representatives (US) and House of Commons (UK). Ideas are placed on the lower pad and are then pressed repeatedly until common sense, logic and usefulness are completely removed. The result is then passed as legislation, providing the legal community thousands of hours of useful employment hours trying to make sense of the whole thing.

Heart Deco S

It's a pizza-slice dispenser for anorexics with OCD

Heart Deco S

This is a turbo-charged spice-rack, and it can do zero to Basil in 2.7 seconds. It has been featured in such programs as Martha "Jackie" Stewart's "Formula One Fondue" and Anthony Bordain's "No Time for This Sh*t!"

Heart Deco S

This is a Gottle. It is much-prized by amateur ventriloquists as they are always asking for one...
"Gottle o' gear, gottle o' gear"

Heart Deco S

This is a paper-clip designed by the Totally Over-Engineered Design Company. Their other inventions include the Thermonuclear Coffee-maker and the 250hp clothes-peg

Heart Deco S

It's a tool for making miniature Sudoku-toast

Heart Deco S

It's a torture device for masochistic bubble-wrap

Heart Deco S