It is a time machine. Invented by the mysterious Dr. Howe, based on ancient Hamurabian texts found in Himalayn Crypt under a sheet of ice a mile thick, this is the only working time machine in existence.

It only works for future travel though and only one minute at a time. Dr. Howe sold the device to incredulous investors in 1889, and then dissapeared. He is rumored to be arriving in Uraguy in 2014.

I'm as much a homophobe as any red-blooded amurican, but the whole idea of curing any desease is to reduce suffering. Aids is a terrible way to die, slow and horrifying, and I see no purpose or justice in it.

I'm as much a homophobe as anyoy red-blooded amurican, but the whole idea of curing any desease is to reduce suffering. Aids is a terrible way to die, slow and horrifying, and I see no purpose or justice in it.

This is a US Navy Strawberry De-seeder. Someone convinced the navy that eating strawberry seeds led to homosexual urges, so every ship and boat's galley in the US Navy has one of these. Unfortuately, no instructions were included and no one knows haw it's supposed to work. Despite the theory of straw-berry seed-homosexuality being debunked twenty minutes ofter it was uttered, the navy still has a contract to buy 300 of these every year, to the tune of $6,500 each.

The russians conversly use a copy of it to add seeds to their strawberrys.

This is a comblestobber, possibly the oddest musical and most dangerous instrument ever devised. When electricity was new it was put to many uses and making 'electric' music was a brief and often fatal fad. The 'combler', while suspended within a rolling ball like metal cage, which would by 'rolled' along a charged grid, would acheive various senthized notes by swinging the charged comblestobber in small curving arcs, without touching, but almost making contact with the cage. Surviving audience members described the experience and 'electrifying.'

This is a Bolanga, a device for controlling staliions, used on ranches in Bolivia.

When a mare goes into heat the neighboring stallions will jump fences to get at her, so to stop this they attach the bolanga to the testicles of the stallion. One experience of jumping a fence will train a stallion for life.

Oddly enough, In Bolivia 'Bolanga' is slang for 'divorce lawyer.'

Its a tent.

This is a rare surving example of Fergusion's silent smell-a-larm. During the Blitz deaf Londoners were to be warned of impending attack by grinding an extremely pungent aroma.

However, the practice was discontinued when it was discovered that hight raids on London were actually being guided by the smell to their targets.

Fergusan was shot as a traitor to the crown, but in 1974 Parliment recinded the ruling and in a bizarre twist of English law, he was unexecuted and restored to life.

This is a kilt-stay, originally patented by one Angus McClorggann. Scotsman are an active bunch, romping around the moors and craggy hills, hearding sheep and smacking one another with pointy things. But, when it rains the fabric of the kilt loosens, sometimes dropping around their ankles. This would not only be embarrassing, but dangerous! the Kilt stay prevents this from happening. You wind this up, and as the kilt belt expands, the spring keeps it taught, and as the kilt dries it pulls in the slack. Notice the gold 'rope' decoration, its the clue that led me to this conclusion.

This is a Kepler flangle. This tool is for unclasping jammed safety pins on baby diapers. They come in in pink and blue but black seems to be the most popular color, though o one knows why. Its not named after the inventor, who is unknown, but after Wilmont Kepler, who owns a collection of 1,874,999 of these, you seem to have the only one not in collection. Wilmont's people wil be visiting you soon, I suggest you cooperate.

This is a betchel key. Before the popularity of gunpowder in the military field, torsion spring siege devices were very popular. However, on rare occasions peace would break out just as medievel artillarists were prepared to fire. What to do? Its very difficult to unload a cocked trebuchet. This device solved the proble. you simply inserted it in the paul socket and slowqly unwound the torsion arm.

More often though, the srtillarist would just yell 'WHAT?' feigning momentary deafness, and pull the trigger lever.

This is not a hammer. It may have been used as a hammer by mistake, but it is actually a precise scientific instrument. The proper name is a Tibolicistic Chronosmithic Pistometer, but its usually called a fruit spike. These are placed beside a fruit bearing tree at the long handles length from the trunk and when a fruit falls from the tree and is impaled upon the sharp spike, precise measurments are taken of the penatration and juice color using etched markings not visible in the picture. This data is used by the National Fructose Board to determine crop yields and values and is instrumental in forfending world nutrional collapse.

I love this game, I always know the answer.

Television existed before WW2, but it took quite a long time to develop it to general consumption. I think we are at the end of the gasoline era, I think the exponential growth in technology will bring it about sooner than ten years. Hydrogen or Electric, we will be seeing bluer skies.

This is a Honkle-Flemer. It is a tool used for stimulating pherome genisis in woolly yaks. The yak pheromes are instrumaental in making toothpaste, and is in every brand on the market. No kidding. If you knew what else was in toothpaste, you'd brush your teeth with dirt. Really.

It is a mouse sexer. Despite the rough look of this object, it is in fact a precision scientific instrument. Unsexed immature mice are sorted by passing through the adjustable gates at the base. THese gates are slightly offset, and by spreading the gates mice of various age can pass through them. Fully closing the gates allows only male mice to pass, as they have narrower hips than females. opening the gates slightly allows for immature female mice to pass and opening the gates completely allows for mature females to pass. In the 1930's, when this device saw widespread use in behavioral labs, the phrase 'open door policy' drew snickers even from aged professors.