Wiffle knife. There's also a "nerf" version.

People here are actually disillusioned over the (forced) answers of beauty contestants? No one notices that these girls are obviously mouthing words that they think will appease the judges? As the great Frankie once said "Relax".

The piece is nicely written, but the author seriously needs to educate himself on what "irony" means. Irony isn't merely interesting coincidence and happenstance. There are other factors required for something to be technically considered ironic.

Unfortunately, most people subscribe to the Alanis Morisette school of thought.