How do you answer a seventeen year old female shop assistant in a pharmacy who ask you the following? "I'm sorry, what is an enema"?

— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) November 1, 2015

Patrick Stewart, the actor who played Captain Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation, offers this tweet without context or explanation. None is needed.

Before we Neatorama authors post anything here, we are supposed to search the archives to make sure that it has not already been posted. So if Alex ever looks through the database of search queries for the site's content management system and sees "patrick stewart enema," he will know why.

Many Star Wars fans despise Jar Jar Binks as his silly comedic presence disrupted the dramatic nature of the Star Wars prequels. He was comedy relief in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But redditor Lumpawarroo argues that Jar Jar was anything but a buffoon who survived only through good luck and the mercy of the other characters. He systematically explains that Jar Jar was actually a highly skilled Force user, combatant, and political manipulator who was the true power behind the intrigue of Episodes I-VI:

Here I will seek to establish that Jar Jar Binks, far from being simply the bumbling idiot he portrays himself as, is in fact a highly skilled force user in terms of martial ability and mind control.

Furthermore, I assert that he was not, as many people assume, just an unwitting political tool manipulated by Palpatine-- rather, he and Palpatine were likely in collaboration from the very beginning, and it's entirely possible that Palpatine was a subordinate underling to Binks throughout both trilogies.

And finally, given the above, I will conclude with an argument as to why I believe it is not only possible, but plausible that Jar Jar will make a profound impact on the upcoming movies, and what his role may be.

The real Phantom Menace is not Palpatine and the Sith, but Jar Jar. Lumpawarroo argues for this with clear evidence.

-via Wired

(Photo: David Ngo)

Harley Kat offers this fresh take on Loki, the bad boy of The Avengers movies who makes so many people swoon. Loki has fallen far since being cast out of Asgard. She ended up on Tatooine in the service of Jabba the Hutt, who is apparently visiting Comikaze Expo in Los Angeles.

Most celebrities look like normal, albeit fabulously wealthy, human beings, but those famous faces that look a little too normal for too long start to raise some red flags.

Why aren't they aging? Are they truly the superhuman beings they pretend to be on the big screen? How do they maintain their appearance while living that Hollywood lifestyle?

This comic by Julia Lepetit of Dorkly should clear up any misconceptions you have about the ageless Keanu look, the slightly less ageless but still great lookin' for his age Patrick Stewart, and the "WTF am I lookin' at?!" Guy Fieri look.

See How To Explain Celebrity Appearances at Dorkly

Some child turned seven years old and really wanted a Star Wars cake. The bakery decided to use all their science fiction decorations and hope they worked. If you don’t have a Millennium Falcon, the Enterprise will just have to do. I got a laugh out of this one, but it’s just one of eight Star Wars cakes singled out for their ugliness, oddness, or just plain wrongness at Cake Wrecks.

(Image: Lucasfilm)

It is trendy to argue that, in Star Wars, the bad guys are actually the good guys and vice versa. This is the geeky version of #SlatePitches--deliberately contrarian takes for the sake of argument that Slate has became famous (or infamous) for. For example, just last week I linked to a video that stated that gangster and slaver Jabba the Hutt was a fine fellow.

Most of the arguments in favor of Palpatine's Empire in Star Wars falter over at least one major problem: in Episode IV, Grand Moff Tarkin uses the first Death Star to blow the heavily-populated world of Alderaan to bits. You can watch the scene here.

Who is actually going to say that the massacre of the people of Alderaan was a reasonable and ethical course of action? Sonny Bunch of the Washington Post does. He argues that Tarkin had no reason to believe anything that proven liar Princess Leia said and that the obliteration of Alderaan was acceptable for a larger goal of establishing peace:

People thought the bang-up sport of roller derby was nothing but a flash in the pan, a staged "sport" that would fade away by the 21st century.

But those people were dead wrong, and even though it's not as widely televised as it used to be roller derby is still very much alive and jamming.

At the heart of the sport is a global community of roller derby girls passionate about keeping the sport alive and teaching the younger generation how to skate tough and deliver a solid hip check.

See many more vintage roller derby photos at Dangerous Minds

The Grand Theft Auto video game series is rated M for a reason, because any game where you can beat hookers to death with a bat, kill cops and wantonly commit violent crimes simply isn't for kids.

But when kids turn into teenagers they begin to wonder why they're not allowed to play grown-up games, so they start coming up with creative ways to circumvent age restrictions.

Some will go to a buddy's house to play, or rent it on the sly from a DVD kiosk, but Jestersheister's son went corporate with his argument, creating a PowerPoint presentation detailing why he should be allowed to buy GTA V.

The boy makes all the right claims, saying he'll skip the campaign mode because it's "just horrible with swearing and killing and sex and what-not", but his presentation starts to fall apart when he reaches this slide:

Looks like he'll be playing GTA V at a buddy's house after all!

See the kid's entire GTA V Powerpoint presentation here

Before science and medicine offered explanations for how bodily functions work and what diseases do to the body people had all kinds of strange ideas about what was happening inside their bodies.

“Bodily functions personified as popular kabuki actors,” artist unknown, late 19th century

Diseases felt like a curse, fevers felt like demonic possession, and drugs felt like a blessing from a god, so when artists created visual depictions of illness and diseases these terrifying themes could be seen in many of their works.

“Chasing measles away,” by Utagawa Yoshimori, 1862

These fantastic Japanese artworks from the 19th-Century are part of the University of California- San Francisco's Japanese woodblock print collection, which isn't all medical-themed but is all kinds of cool to look through!

See more of these medical-themed woodblock prints at Dangerous Minds

Filmmakers are always trying to prove that they can make a kid appropriate movie that parents will enjoy as well, and flicks like The Incredibles and Wreck-It Ralph have come pretty darn close.

But these PG movies have something else in common besides their rating- their plots are incredibly similar to some R-rated films.

The Incredibles was heavily influenced by Alan Moore's graphic novel masterpiece The Watchmen, a connection posited by Baltimore Sun writer Michael Sragrow back in 2009 that seems pretty obvious in retrospect.

But would you believe parallels can be drawn between Wreck-It Ralph and Taxi Driver?

It's easy to dismiss these theories as nothing more than a case of every story influencing every other story, but the parallels extend beyond the plot to the very camera shots, story arc and dialog, making them mighty hard to ignore.

See 5 Movies For Kids That Stole Their Plot From Adult Movies here (contains NSFW language)

Imagine what it would feel like to play supporting roles and bit parts in Hollywood productions for decades yet the role you become best known for is one where you play the evil guy in the painting.

You only get to move for a few minutes in the film, and when you finally have a short speaking line your voice is overdubbed, a fact which you discover for the first time on premiere night.

(YouTube Link)

That's the Ghostbusters II experience for Norbert Grupe, aka Vigo The Carpathian, and the only thing more wicked than his scowl are the dark secrets he kept buried deep within.

(YouTube Link)

Norbert's life played out like a Greek tragedy, as he tried to come out of the shadow cast by his larger-than-life father Richard and instead found a life full of failure, debauchery, violence and hate. No wonder he was chosen to play Vigo The Carpathian!

Read about The Hateful Life And Spiteful Death Of The Man Who Was Vigo The Carpathian here

While attending the PAX Prime convention in Seattle in August, David Ngo shot these three ladies who are ready for an elegant evening at an 80s arcade. Thalia Cosplay wears Pac-Man, Peachy Molly wears the Tetris dress, and Mél Dee invades your space with her enormous Space Invaders gown. Mél Dee made these lovely dresses, which hopefully didn't cost too many quarters from the arcade consoles.

Once upon a time, you didn’t think about a movie until it reached your local theater. And that was a good thing, because they didn't play in small towns until months after the official release. Then as theaters expanded, you’d see trailers on TV a couple of weeks before the movie opened, and that was the first you heard of it. Now, we get every scrap of film development on the internet years ahead of time. And for a fan, it’s not easy to wait for the finished product.

(YouTube link)

You might think this is about The Force Awakens, but it also applies to the Marvel universe films, Star Trek, or any number of popular film franchises. Sadly, it also applies to TV shows, video games, and books. We get teased too much about them before we ever get a chance to try them out. -via Tastefully Offensive

(Image: Columbia Pictures/Marvel Entertainment, via ComicBook)

Two actors have donned the red mask in recent years: Tobey Maguire in 2002 and Andrew Garfield in 2012. To honor their work, scientists recently named two real webslingers after them.

The Filistata maguirei and Pritha garfieli are newly-discovered species that live in Iran. Marusik et al. note in the journal Anthropoda Selecta that "They are venomous but do not pose a risk to humans." Of course not! They're our protectors.

-via Nerd Bastards

Samurai warriors trained to strike with precision, defend themselves when the fight stretched on and, most impressive visually, unsheath their katana and strike in the blink of an eye.

With a flash a well trained samurai can cut down a foe, or a flying baseball, while making their katana magic look way too easy.

Modern day samurai warrior Isao Machii demonstrated his considerable skills with the sword for Oricon News by slicing a baseball clocked at 100 miles per hour in half with a lightning quick katana strike. Note to the MLB- baseball needs more swords!

-Via GeekTyrant