June 20, 2010
I haven't given any updates on Pat in a while! How awful of me! I've been getting your emails asking how he's handling puberty and let's just say...not well. Not well at all. Yesterday his face was absolutely disgusting. He was up for going to school but I sat him down and said, "No way." I explained that in high school, your worst-looking day is always how people remember you. "Even when the acne clears up," I said, holding his hand while we had tea at the kitchen table, "your whole class will think of you as Pizza Face after they see you today. One bad-looking day in high school can ruin a person, Pat."
He said that he'd still like to go because he had an important biology exam, but I pointed out that even if he aced the exam and got into Yale and became a molecular biologist, there would be two hundred and fifty people in America who had seen his pustules and would never forget it. Finally I got through to him and he locked himself in his bedroom, probably to drop to his knees and thank Heaven above for a mother who really understood what it was like to be a teenager.
Don't get me started on his erections! Email me if you're interested, I have some great stories.
Link | Image: Urlesque
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