Weird Simpsons VHS

so... my initial thought was "lightsaber hilt", but now I think it's like a decorative cover for a candle, and the bottom part is the candle stand. Like those little bell things they used to use to put out candles, only it covers the whole thing so you don't have to look at the drips.

Toilet paper roll.

I Heart Math, medium please :P

It's a beer warmer!

It's an ash tray.
Polar Bears are Soluble in Water Large

And no, I don't want a t-shirt. I never use my powers of intellect for my own personal gain...

its an ash tray
Polar Bears are Soluble in Water Large

It's a self-filling water holder for a bird cage.
Brainer than the adverage bear, medium, navy

That would be for paper towels. the little arm on the side keeps the paper from going everywhere when you are not using it.

A portable guard post. ( red rope and other post sold separately)

It is a French Press.

Trucker bomb dispenser for the distinguished trucker.

Thesaurus, Grey, XL

It's a telescoping stand of some sort. The little piece of metal if for wrapping a cord around.

ORLY, Ladies Large, Serene Green

Its a ceremonial cudgel.

mythbusted xl

How about a stainless steel prototype of an Soxhlet extractor.

ORLY, Ladies Large, Serene Green

It's an electric car charger!

Its a coffee press! xl please

Its a gravity indicator for sky-divers. I don't sky dive, so I'm not sure how its used exactly, but I think you drop it out of the airplane and follow it towards the ground. They started using them after a lot of sky divers started getting lost.

It's a button. (Looks big, but isn't).

Amp-bear-sand
L
Chocolate

New Starbucks extra-large travel mug.

In keeping with their seemingly meaningless faux-european sounding names for their sizes, this size is called "fastidio"... which means "annoyance" in Italian.

Heart Me Tender... Ladies XL... color: chocolate

It's a mobile candlestick. If you need to walk around you can, and when you return, you can replace it in the base.

It was used primarily on the bedside table, and was designed to be carried safely in one hand. It was for those nocturnal visits to the chamber pot, and you would need a hand free to accomplish the mission. A "normal" candlestick would drip wax on your hand, and a "Jack-Be-Nimble" candlestick, with a loop on the base, wouldn't be as steady in the hand when walking about.

Buckyballs dispenser

Comic Skull and Cross Bones, Large

Tea infuser

Carbon Footprint

It's just a fancy peppermill with a base for neat storage.

mosaic skull, xl, mil grn

It's an ashtray that's self emptying. The lever on the side slides and opens the ash tray on top which then drops the butts into the container below.

Jewel ice cube tray, please.

Pepper grinder

Surprise me!

No, don't surprise me, I want the "Darkside...cookies" shirt in men's Medium

I say it's a Coffee Airpot Decanter.

Is it a water pipe?

Perhaps, it is a deviced used to house sperm for artificial insemination?

Auto cigar-roller!

rivet tool; the anvil/setter, makes rivets!

T-shirt; Paddle Faster - I Hear Banjo Music XXL

Muchas Gracias!

It is a Cigar Snuffer.

Thesaurus shirt XL

I shouldn't have said it 'makes rivets' more like it punches the rivets into the item you're making, like in the pict, cloth....

It serves as a chair for those who prefer to wear dresses.

This is used by lady hamsters for pole-dancing. The little arm at the top is for attaching a bag for collecting tips (since tucking peanuts into their little G-strings makes them look slightly less becoming!)

Something went terribly wrong T-shirt XL

It's a collapsible pole that is commonly used in public places that connects to other poles to organize human traffic/form lines.

Brainer that the average bear (small)

It is the stopper control for a bathtub. This one goes in the floor and I guess reaches under the tub to close the valve. Lots of old NYC apartments have them. I didn't know I could stop up my tub for a year before someone told me what it was. or i figure it out. like a genius. like a genius..

first prototype hook, shmee made, for captain hook

It's a golf ball washer

I think it's a Smoke Message machine.
put some smoky-thing in the tube and use the silver lever.
Finally, SMS your friends to look in the sky in your direction to see your message...

Family Ties, M size please.

Its a ball washer for use on the golf course.

Be very careful when using it... I fell off one of these once and sprained my ankle.

Heart Me Tender... Ladies XL... color: sexual chocolate

It's a stationary light sabre.

This houses the main power coupling for the warp drive on a Federation, Constitution class starship.

(SPOILER ALERT!!) Spock took the top off this housing at the end of Wrath of Khan, saving the entire ship but killing himself by radiation exposure.

Heart Me Tender... Ladies XL... color: chocolate

First prototype for the "Shake Weight"

XL - Busted

Its a Mennonite flashlight

A Turkish coffee maker?