When you head to a baseball game this summer and fall you're going to see all kinds of peanuts and cracker jacks in the stands who'll make you feel like you've unwittingly joined the cast of the Major League reboot.
If you encounter the Overzealous Wave-Starter you should shield your eyes, because she might jump up at any time and you may get slapped. But at least she's not wasted and annoying like Mr. Just Here For The Beer.
Illustrator Kevin Valente has done a great job of capturing the spirit of baseball season by giving us the vital stats on all the fans we'll have to contend with in the stands, like these for old man I Remember When:
Times per inning he calls the umpire a “bum”: 7
Fond memories per game: 14
Stories about the past: 21
Stories that start with “In my day…”: 19
Percentage of those stories you’ve already heard before: 95%