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"Disorderly Conduct Is a Mistress That Tends to Show Up with Her Own Six-Pack."

(Photo: Scott Davidson)

The writer for the Facebook page of the Bangor (Maine) Police Department is trying his hand at comedy and doing a fine job of it. The anonymous author has penned a regular feature called "Got Warrants?" It lists the current outstanding arrest warrants and asks for public-spirited citizens to turn in these miscreants.

Let's start with Todd who has decided to be that guy. We all know that guy and Todd of Bangor is a fine example of the breed:

A hearty, Hi-De-Ho to Todd. We call him Todd because that is his name. Todd made the pizza delivery lady feel very uncomfortable and along with his extremely inappropriate comments, hugged the young lady “not in a good way.” We note that Todd has spurned our advances to discuss this ridiculous and boorish behavior. File this under; we are not laughing and plan on a late night or early morning visit from the summons delivery guy. We do notice that you have been avoiding us and we have some paperwork for you. Your full name is on our contact list and it might be better if you swing by the station and ask for Officer Perry or any officer for that matter. If you do not like being named as a featured player or being called out for being loutish, show some respect to other people. We will see you soon. Toodles…Todd.

You can read the rest here.

-via Debby Witt

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