In a now-archived thread from last summer, Redditors weighed in on the strangest questions or comments they received from agents while crossing the Canadan border. A few are quips from American personnel, some are Canadian. Some of the funniest bits are the responses to the guards' questions and not the questions themselves. A few examples are included here; read the rest at Reddit.
Going To A Funeral
A favorite response I saw was from a man who was going to Canada for a funeral. They had a floral arrangement in the car and were dressed in dark clothing. When they told the border guard they were going to a funeral, the guy said, 'for what purpose?
About 25 years ago I get pulled off for a random check. The agent roots through the items in my trunk and pulls out a gas can that had a few drops in it. Enough to tell that there was a small bit of liquid in there.
Agent opens the can and takes a huge whiff. Looking slightly light-headed, the guy says, "Is this gas in here?"
The smart-ass in me alllllmost said something, but I caught myself.Un-American
They're finally able to wake her and drag her inside into a very bright room and she's not happy at all.
'What's your name?'asks the guard. She says her name and the guard says, "That doesn't sound American!"
Well, she was a mean drunk and replied, "What the f*** do you mean that doesn't sound American?!" as my friend winced.
"Oh, you can go," said the border guard, figuring only a real American would cuss out a border agent.
After I had gotten a bear in northern Quebec and was coming back across into detroit, my dad explained that we had a bear in the back. the boarder guard... "is it alive?"