UPS Man Sees Your Sign, Doesn't Care

Ordering from Amazon as often as I do, the only times I've had any kind of problem is with USPS delivery on Sundays.
I'll get a text saying that they were "unable to find a secure location" to leave the package, and that they left a [nonexistant] notice.
One time it took me 4 days to track down which post office to pick it up, being sent to 3 different stations... and it turned up at the FIRST one I went to!

I said it the last UPS post: get a private mailbox. None of these issues ever and I order 10 items per month via online shopping.

The sad thing is the delivery men are under such time pressure from management that they have to be that way.

We need to send a package back to Amazon, they arrange a UPS pickup. Unfortunately they don't communicate this to us, so when the UPS guy comes, there is no package waiting. He leaves us a slip saying he made an attempt to pick up the package.

Next day, we take the slip, tape it to the box, and leave the box on the front step.

We come home later that day to find another "made an attempt" slip. Stuck to the package. On top of the other slip.

We call the UPS office and explain. The response is an embarrassed "wow, really?" They promise to make sure the guy gets the message to pick up the box the next day.

Nobody ever comes back for the box. Our nephew gets two rock tumblers for Christmas.

I had endless problems with UPS' first delivery attempt failing with some "address does not exist" message (no note on door, no UPS truck ever reached my driveway), then getting delivered easily on the second "attempt". Calling UPS is like playing 20 questions, with the guy on the phone having zero information, but deciding to run-down all the *conceivably possible* reasons the package might not have been delivered, as I knock-down every single one (No, I don't have a gate, no it wasn't snowing, no there isn't a dog, no the tag didn't blow away, etc.), and at the end, him just giving-up and saying he'll "leave a note" telling the delivery driver to *actually* try to deliver my package, next time around... Hrumph. Plus, UPS is the only one of the three that doesn't do Saturday deliveries, so anything needing a signature is lost to anyone working M-F, and keeping the shortest, least convenient office hours around here. They drive me crazy with cryptic tracking messages... Every delay is recorded as a "Train derailment". Not to mention that the inside of their *dark brown* trucks get to be 200F degrees in the summer, so your package will be *well done* when you get it. And UPS is the most expensive option.

Fedex is okay, but has fewer offices, and divides them up, so my package is *never* at the FedEx office 5 minutes away, it's always at the other one, several cities over, 90 minutes away, that closes 15 minutes after I get off of work... No such problems with the USPS, and these days they're the cheapest and usually fastest option.

The USPS is very sneaky, though. They will drop the package in front of my door, then disappear, never bothering to knock or ring. I understand them not wanting to wait around for someone to answer the door, but how long does it take to knock?