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Kirby Delauter Learns About the First Amendment

Frederick County (Maryland) Councilman Kirby Delauter is upset with the local newspaper, the Frederick News-Post. In a Facebook post, he threatened to sue the paper for using his name without authorization. It’s possible that this elected official hasn’t heard of the Streisand Effect. The newspaper responded with a hilarious editorial.

Round about then, we wondered, if it’s not a joke, how should we now refer to Kirby Delauter if we can't use his name (Kirby Delauter)? Could we get away with an entire editorial of nothing but “Kirby Delauter” repeated over and over again -- Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter? OK, imagine we agreed because of temporary madness or something funny in the water that week, how would we reference "Kirby Delauter" and do our job as journalists without running afoul of our lack of authorization?

Blanks? Sure, we sometimes use hyphens in the case of expletives. Perhaps we could do that: "K---- D-------." Or, perhaps, "Councilman [Unauthorized]." We giggled a bit more than we should have when we came up with "the Councilman Formerly Known as Commissioner Kirby Delauter," which doesn't seem as funny written down in black and white and includes his name, which defeats the point. Maybe we should just put his initials, "KD," with an asterisk to a footnote (KD*), or refer to him as GLAT, the acronym for his campaign: "Govern Like A Taxpayer." We could even make it sound a little hip-hop with a well-placed hyphen: G-Lat. Speaking of, could we get away with "K-Del"? Or we could simply go with the Harry Potter-esque "He Who Shall Not be Named." (Cue the lightning strike and peal of thunder.)

Yet we could take the low road down even further and childishly mangle "Kirby Delauter" into references you, the reader, would still understand. "Sherbert Deluder," say. Or "Derby Kelauter." "Shirley Delaughter" (and don't call me Shirley). We found a great automatic online anagrammer that generated all kinds of alternatives and could make it a challenge for our readers to decode each time we have to reference the councilman: "Rebuked artily." That was a good one. "Bakery diluter" is just silly but does have a ring about it. "Keyed rural bit" was another that caught our eye as somewhat telling, because Kirby Delauter's pretty keyed up. We're sure there's a joke in "Brutelike Yard" somewhere.

The full editorial is worth a read, and if you read only the first letter of each paragraph, you'll see even more. Yes, the councilman now has more publicity than he ever imagined, with the story appearing at NPR, the Washington Post, the Huffington Post, MSNBC, and even the BBC. And if you are wondering, here's the inevitable fake Kirby Delauter Twitter feed. -via Metafilter

(Image credit: Bill Green)

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On a day that started with awful news from Paris about an attack on a satirical newspaper, I'd like to think this guy would voice support for a newspaper to use his name, unless it slanders him. But I don't think he has the Delauters to do that.
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Surely you don't mean Bark Eruditely? Or possibly Bridle A Turkey? I Lurk, Betrayed?

New Scientist got told off a while back for using google as a verb, so they now refer to the action of using a Famous Web Search Engine as FWSEing.

Ah well, Baulked, I Retry before I expose myself to some Bald Turkey Ire or tell a Bakery Turd Lie.
I Kerb Adultery, Dear Kilt Buyer.
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