Children, CHILDREN, are coming to my door expecting handouts. What happened to this country.— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) October 31, 2013
Kids, watch out for razor blades in candy. They're just empty calories!— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 31, 2013
4 kids dressed as the Ninja Turtles just came to my door and I gave Raph and Mikey better candy because I'm a god damn American.— Ann Coultergeist (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 31, 2013
I'm running out of candy. I hope these kids like soy sauce.— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) October 31, 2013
Batman 1 gets candy. Batman 2 gets candy. Batman 3 gets candy. Batman 4 and beyond gets the hose. My house, my rules.— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) October 31, 2013
With kids knocking on your door every five minutes, it's not like you'll have time to form a coherent, complex thought. So just turn off your brain and log in to Twitter tonight. Here are some of the funniest tweets of the evening.