First Driving Lesson

porcupine detangler - Pawsitively Awesome L

.

Meat tenderizer

10th of Hearts 3x

Its a medical device for bleeding a patient.

Bow Tie Fighter XXL

It was a Potato masher but it was taken out of stock because of all the homicides/people cutting their finger off.

You are what you eat Medium.

It's a TipPik. It's for roughing up the tip of a pool cue.

Awesome Shirt medium

it's a tip pick, it's used to poke holes in the tip of a pool cue. when you chalk up, these little holes hold the chalk better

Sons of Cyberdyne medium

It's a new type of lipstick...for girls who really want that blood red color.

The Symbol Rises - Ash Grey M

This is actually a tool used by the first attempt of westerners at acupuncture.

Not patient to do it one at a time, they figured they would just do several at once, as more is always better.

Force-Choked for Sure - L

Thanks.

It's a tube full of toothpicks used by the James Bond villian Jaws on his stainless steel teeth.

Nexus Prototype Replicant - Medium

It's clearly a warmup exerciser for someone who lays on a bed of nails.

Minions in Black

It's a prototype for the Sarlacc salt and pepper shaker set soon to be available from the NeatoShop.

There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1 (L)

Note: You need to get with the future. There's no place like ::1

It's a single round for the elusive but impressive R.Y.N.O. (Rip Ya New One) rifle.

Hip Hip Array - Dark Grey XL

The Econo-piercer!
Today's millennials are no longer satisfied with a single piercing. Face it - six to ten piercings is the norm, and the number keeps on growing! Stay ahead of the game with the Econo-piercer! With one device, you can provide up to 37 piercings in one jab!
"Wait" you say, "won't this cut down on return visits?" Pshaw! WIth this device it's easier than ever to upsell - why just think of the fortune you'll make on studs alone!

The Econo-Piercer, $129.95. Available for salons only. Not recommended for genitalia.

Through the Microscope, Blue, Large

(BTW - are those flechettes? If so, this is one of the scariest "What-is-it's" I've ever seen.)

This is how they hold pencil leads before putting them into pencils.

Beakerful of Science!

It's for precision aerating, when you only want to aerate a very small part of the lawn.

Beakerful of science.

It's the next evolution of a fork. Just think of how much food this could hold!

Beakerful of science!

Its a tool to roughen up the leather tip on a pool cue. I use to sell them and I use to have one. Deep-Thought 2XL pls!

It's a potato-puncturer. This is how you microwave potatoes. You use this to poke tons of holes in the potatoe, then microwave for about 4-5 minutes. Flip it over, microwave for another 4-5 minutes. Cut it down the middle, add your butter and/or cheese, microwave for another 1-2 minutes. It turns out pretty decently baked! (You should really try this, using a fork instead of this TipPik. It is the best baked potato microwave method I've found)

Beakerful of science!

It's a device used to make multiple skin punctures to induce topical / skin infection. It was based on the misguided homeopathic premise that a disease could be treated by drawing the body's symptoms to the skin infection site. Aka a Lebenswecker.

Inappropriate red XL

A .45 caliber MIRV

Inappropriate red XL

It's a tattoo needle for shading large areas.

Inappropriate red XL

It's a solid gold, denim shredder used by the ultra rich to give them that shredded, holy look.
ET Tailwhip, 2x, Black

Steampunk corn cob holder.

Spite Medium

It's a hole puncher used by smug, santicmonius people to prove they are "holeyer" than thou.
ET Tailwhip, 2x, Black

IT's a tip scuffer for a pool cue.
Look Out Schrodinger's Cat, It's a Trap! - Medium

Anti-rape device. Most definitely.

It is a Tokyo Train Station Sleeping Tube for a J
apanese Porcupine. Clearly. Anything XL!

It's a device for seeing how many pins can dance on the head of an angel.

Alafinn Sane XXL

It is a smallpox vaccination device

what is this ?? a misslie launcher for ants ??

I'm pretty sure it's an innoculation device; I still have a faint scar on my upper arm from when I had it done as a kid. (I'm 54 now; they don't use them anymore.)

It's an eraser for really ANGRY writers!
Stupendous Man XXL

I believe it is a Rustication tool most commonly used in pipe making to give the pipes an artificial aged look.

Cooking time L

It's a band-aid perforator that makes holes in the little round band-aids used on shots.

I Heart Yeti XXL

Another reason not to buy dollar store condoms.

Open Your Mind - L

That's a knapping tool for a pool cue. You see, the tip of a cue is an evil bastard. They profoundly hate pool players, especially good pool players. So they wear down and become slick as soon as possible, preventing a good pool player from putting any english on the ball. This tool is designed to inflict pain on the tip of the cue until it relents to your will and allows a knap to stand, thus giving you better control of the cue ball. What? It can be funny AND true!

Any random prize. Not a picky man.

New type of tattoo needle. For those who are unsatisfied with the classic model of tattoo machine, this model gets WAY more color in at one time. Best for those large pieces of artwork, this needle set gets the job done much faster. Also great for those who wish for more pain during their sessions.

Just Keep Flying.
(RIP Wash)

Large please

This is the latest in lipstick collagen injection! Simply prick & pump, plump lips will always be in reach!

Sparrow (By Alberto Arni), XL

A premium game of pick-up sticks.

My Neighbor - M

THE IRON MAIDEN'S SEX TOY!

I'm pretty sure Jade Fox used that against Mu Bai in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

The doctor it trying out a new form of acupuncture.
Look Out Schrodinger's Cat, It's a Trap! - Large

I believe it is a warhead from Ronald Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative "Star Wars" defense program, specifically a Exoatmospheric Reentry-vehicle Interceptor Subsystem (ERIS).

Lesser of Two Weevils XXL any color

A metal cylinder full of Graphite pencils.

They are a tube of lead pencils

Micro-Max 19-in-1

When the blue hairs get out of control and go rampaging through town there's only one way to stop them. Blackhawks loaded up with HE (high enticement) Knitting Needles fired a few feet in front of them. Follow up by carpet bombing spools of yarn and quell the incursion. You'll be up to your elbows in oven mits, awkward sweaters and scarves in no time!

Keep Calm and Whaaaaaaat? - XL

A 41-colour ballpen? Suitable to paint rainbows in just one streak?

InVADER Zolo size m suggested colour

Anti-Rape device. Taken off the market because of TSA screenings.

Damned if you do, Bored if you don't XL

Initially, I thought it was a needle felter, but the pool cue knapper answer is probably accurate.

It is called a "tip-pic" for roughing up a cue tip to hold chalk better.

OH NO! Caught in the middle of meal once again by angry villagers. Are you a vampire always on the run? Need help getting that vital tasty blood out of humans faster than conventional vampire teeth can do alone? Than look no further than EZ BLOOD FLO. Here’s how it works! EZ BLOOD FLO is a human meat tenderizer. Modern human neck meat is tense caused by endless hours hunched over a computer and doesn’t allow for smooth blood flow. Just apply EZ BLOOD FLO liberally causing those neck muscles to relax a bit and the extra holes sure will help reduce the vacuum you need to get every delicious drop out of your victim. How much would you expect to pay for EZ BLOOD FLO? $39.99…$29.99…Stop! today only EZ BLOOD FLO is $19.99. Act now and get a second EZ BLOOD FLO FREE just pay shipping and handling. // 11th of Hearts / XL / Navy

its a medevil female chastity insert.
Cthulhu, monster - medium

Bart Simpsons hair styler

Banana Nana - Ladies Small