Warning Labels

Some things in life should go without saying, but there's always the occasional genius who needs to be told not to use a vacuum cleaner to pick up something that's on fire.

On a bottle of dog shampoo: "Contents should not be fed to fish."

On a baking pan: "Ovenware will get hot when used in oven."

On a blanket: "Not to be used as protection from a tornado."

On a fishing lure with a three-printed hook: "Harmful if swallowed."

On a 12-inch CD rack: "Do not use as a ladder."

On a carpenter's drill: "Not intended for use as a dental drill."

On a knife set: "Never try to catch a falling knife."

On a package of earplugs: "These earplugs are non-toxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On a cocktail napkin with a mini-map of Hilton Head, South Carolina: "Not to be used for navigation."

On an insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."

On a box of birthday candles: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."

On a child's scooter: "This product moves when used."

Inside a six-inch plastic bag: "Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death."

On a paint remover that heats up to 1,000°: "Do not use heat gun as a hair dryer."

On a shower cap: "Fits one head."

On a can of pepper spray: "May irritate eyes."

On a toilet: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

Title image by Warning Label Generator.

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader, a fantastic book by the Bathroom Readers' Institute. The 19th book in this fan-favorite series contain such gems like The Greatest Plane that Never Was, Forgotten Robot Milestones, Ancient Beauty Secrets, and more.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

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I once saw a pair of felt antlers (a christmas festive hatband thing) at a convenience store. The paper tag at the top had a smiling child wearing them.... and the note: Child not included.

The antlers were in a plastic bag about six inches square, btw.
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