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In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

Redditor Xineph asks this brilliant question--no doubt the topic of many future doctoral dissertations.

I agree with those redittors who think that it would ultimately come down to Andrew Jackson vs. Teddy Roosevelt.  And if I had to place a bet, I'd predict a final victory by Jackson, largely due to the initiative he would gain early in the fight because to his sheer aggressiveness. This was a man who got into duels just to relieve boredom. The whole scenario, which saner people might think confusing, would make immediate sense to Jackson--if not be appealing.

Other redditors are making arguments for Washington, Lincoln, Eisenhower, Taylor, Grant and, oddly enough, Coolidge.

Who do you think would prevail?

Link -via American Digest


Teddy Roosevelt.

Old Hickory would -Attack- first, but TR has 2 things working for him:
1)He was shot in the chest during a speech, shrugged it off, and then finished the rest of it at I think 30+ minutes. -And Ultimately Survived.
2)HE'S BATMAN.
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Could end up with somebody like Wilson (post 1919) or Harris (post day 25) or FDR in 1945 or may be even Reagan in 1987. Wilson may already look dead, Harris was probably sounding like death at that point and not sure if anyone would want to get near him, who is going to pay attention to somebody in a wheelchair not moving around so well and Reagan would most likely wander off returning later.
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At his physical peak or during his presidency? Washington was a professional solider during an era when things frequently got up close and messy. I'd take young George Washington over TR any day. Same goes for Zachary Taylor. My final four would probably be Washington, Jackson, Taylor and (so as not to give short shrift to the 20th century) Gerald Ford. He was a big man and an athlete. Depending on how the tournament is seeded, I can easily see him making it to the semis, even if he doesn't know how to use a knife.
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