The geeks who help customers at Apple stores' Genius Bar may be geniuses, but they must learn to do things "the Apple way." Gizmodo got hold of an Apple training manual. It's not about technical issues, but all about making the customer feel good about their gadgets and the company that sells them.
The manual explains that "AppleCare's legal counsel has defined [these] terms that should be avoided when discussing product issues with customers."
Did your computer crash? No, it "stops responding." Never say crash.
What if some Apple software has a bug? Wrong: there's an "issue," "condition," or simply "situation."
You don't "eliminate" a problem—you "reduce" it.
No Apple products are hot—at most they're "warm."
Switching "disaster" out for "error" might make sense to calm down a panicky client, but most of this is a straight up whitewash, the sterilization of language that could very well be accurate for a given problem. Sometimes there are bugs, laptops do run hot, and laptops crash.
Our modern world: customer service designed by lawyers. But that's just a small part of an extensive article on how Apple Geniuses are trained to deal with people, which some of the geekiest computer whizzes probably need. Link -via Flavorwire
Who is this secret employee of Apple?
And why is he training Manual?
gotta keep the cult members pacified, after all.