Rejection Generator for Writers

Are you a writer? Do you have a sense of self worth? Let's solve that problem before you actually read that rejection letter. The Rejection Generator will let you down gently in a variety of ways. Options include The Southern Gentleman, The Big Chakra Dosing Agent, and The Ego Shredder. Choose your option, submit your email address, and a general rejection letter will appear in your email inbox. Here's The Ego Shredder at work:

Dear Writer,

We could tell from your delicate treatment of human motivation and deep insight into character that you are a wise and gentle soul. We have been dreading having to write to you and inform you that your prose is crap, you wouldn’t know a plot if it jumped on your toe and then headbutted you in the crotch, and you should buy all of the grammar and style books on the market and read them from the first page to the last (if only because that will prevent you from writing for a while).

That must have been painful for you to hear, but we feel so much better now.

With sympathy,
The Editors

If you need me, I'll be under my desk with a bottle of whiskey.

Link -via @BrainPicker | Image: Paramount

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hmm . . . if I can only find a way to apply this to my profession, since my ego might need to be checked. O wait, I am quitting my profession and trying to become a writer.
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I hear you. That's why I've developed this Recovery Process:
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