Are you a writer? Do you have a sense of self worth? Let's solve that problem before you actually read that rejection letter. The Rejection Generator will let you down gently in a variety of ways. Options include The Southern Gentleman, The Big Chakra Dosing Agent, and The Ego Shredder. Choose your option, submit your email address, and a general rejection letter will appear in your email inbox. Here's The Ego Shredder at work:
If you need me, I'll be under my desk with a bottle of whiskey.
Link -via @BrainPicker | Image: Paramount
Dear Writer,
We could tell from your delicate treatment of human motivation and deep insight into character that you are a wise and gentle soul. We have been dreading having to write to you and inform you that your prose is crap, you wouldn’t know a plot if it jumped on your toe and then headbutted you in the crotch, and you should buy all of the grammar and style books on the market and read them from the first page to the last (if only because that will prevent you from writing for a while).
That must have been painful for you to hear, but we feel so much better now.
With sympathy,
The Editors
If you need me, I'll be under my desk with a bottle of whiskey.
Link -via @BrainPicker | Image: Paramount
Comments (2)
http://eahand.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/5-stages-of-recovery-from-a-rejection-letter/
Nuff Said
Rowlf is way too laid back He's not a killer.
Big Bird and Snuffy are way too innocent. Neither of them have a killer in him.
Fozzy, Beaker, Gonzo, and Lew are clearly mentally incapable. In fact, due to their limited mental capacity, they probably would have been included in Hitler's Final Solution and also been eliminated.
Maybe Animal, but he'd be his own Blitzkrieg. Hitler's men would see him coming a mile away. If he got close enough he could do it, but I doubt he'd make it.
Kermit is the only one in this bunch who is level headed enough to approach cautiously and calculatingly. He would have a plan, a disguise and an exit strategy. As boring as it is, Kermit is the man... er... amphibian for the job.
But if I were a betting man, I'd send Bert. That dude's gonna snap any minute. Might as well make it count.
Team Female!!