Are we becoming more rude? Lisa Gache, co-founder of Beverly Hills Manners in Los Angeles, thinks so. She noticed that courteous language is slowly going away, and blames society's modern, casual style:
"The slow erosion of the 'magic words' in our everyday vernacular," says Gache, who coaches people to be more civil, "has to do with the predilection toward all things casual in our society today. Casual conversation, casual dress and casual behavior have hijacked practically all areas of life, and I do not think it is doing anyone a service."
Other polite phrases also seem to be falling by the wayside. "You're welcome," for instance. Say "thank you" to someone these days, and instead of hearing "you're welcome," you're more liable to hear: "Sure." "No problem." "You bet." "Enjoy." Or a long list of replies that replace the traditional "you're welcome."
Instead of saying "thank you," people say "got it." Or "have a good one." Or, more often, nothing at all. And in lieu of saying "no, thank you," reactions such as "I'm good" are increasingly common.
"The responses 'have a good one,' 'I'm good' or 'you bet,' do not carry the same sentiment or convey the same conviction as when we are sincerely expressing our gratitude or thanks," Gache says. "They feel less invested, almost as if they are painful to utter under our breath."
So, the question is: can you still have good manners without saying "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome"? I'd appreciate it if you could answer the question, please. Thank you!
I might be in a grocery store, and an employee is bagging my groceries at the register.
"Thank you!" I say.
"No problem." is the reply.
Er... since you're here to bag my groceries, I sort of took it as a given that it was "no problem."
I ALWAYS say please and thank you, but I'm definitely guilty of the "no problem" or the "don't mention it"
And what's wrong with hearing "have a good one" or "you bet"? Maybe it's a local/cultural thing? Maybe we're just looking for alternate ways to say please and thank you as to not sound redundant, or even old-fashioned.
I'm just glad at all that we still smile and generally won't let kind gestures go unacknowledged.
Sure it's more polite for people to refer to me as "Miss Harness," but it's certainly a lot more comfortable to hear "Jill."