Rash of Tuba Thefts in Los Angeles

So, you know about the Pan Flute bands from south park. Well, this is kind of like that. They are stealing tubas in order to create an army of tuba playing thieves to protect us from (dun, dun, dun!) scuba bunny. Don't let the name fool you. Rabbits that can swim and that have developed the technology of scuba suits all on their own are very dangerous. Especially when they have an octopus for an estranged father. Scuba doesn't like it when you ask about that though...

contrabass sax, that's where the money is (between $40000 and $175000)

Thieves are converting sousaphones and tubas into tele-phonographers.

Is recycled brass that expensive these days? If they'll strip electrical towers for copper, stealing tubas for brass isn't that far fetched.

"Last night I dreamed I had a golden toilet."
"So you're the jerk who pooped in my tuba!"

Those are sousaphones in the picture, not tubas.

My understanding is that a sousaphone is a type of tuba and sousaphones were among the stolen tubas.

What with the ever-rising cost of fish, Japanese criminals are paying top-dollar for black-market tuna, which they then sell to California's sushi restaurants.

Unfortunately, the 'n' key is next to the 'b' key on the computer keyboard.

Try showing up at Tuba Christmas concerts and see if any of the stolen ones appear!

Leon:

"Itz naht a tubah!"