Lawyer Files Motion to Have Buxom Woman Removed from Courtroom Because She's Too Distracting

A court in Illinois is addressing a unique issue. An employee of one of the attorneys in a civil case sat at the front of the courtroom, and opposing counsel considers her non-taxable assets to be distracting. He has filed a motion to have her removed to the gallery:

That Defendant's counsel is anecdotally familiar with the tactics and theatrics of Plaintiff's counsel, [redacted]. Such behavior includes having a large breasted woman sit next to him at counsel's table during the course of the trial. There is no evidence whatsoever that this woman has any legal training whatsoever, and the sole purpose of her presence at Plaintiff's Counsel's table is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings before this court, obviously prejudicing the Defendant's in this or any other cause. Until it is shown that this woman has any sort of legal background, she should be required to sit in the gallery with the rest of the spectators and be barred from sitting at counsel's table during the course of this trial.

You can read the response filed by the woman's employer at the link. He disputes that there is any legal basis for her removal.

Link via Lowering the Bar | Photo by Flickr user steakpinball used under Creative Commons license

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That seems highly unlikely considering how much Darrow advocated against underhanded practices in the justice system. There is no mention of such tactics in his autobiography. It is more than likely either a smear story made up to tarnish what he was all about or just a mash-up using his name because he was the most famous defense attorney in the history of United States. The Straight Dope has an article on it as well.
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I read somewhere that Clarence Darrow used to insert a thin wire through the length of a cigarette and then smoke that cigarette during the opposing lawyer's closing statement. The wire kept the cigarette ash in tact, allowing him to smoke the whole cigarette without the ash ever falling off. Supposedly, by the end of the other lawyer's statement the entire jury was staring at Darrow's precarious cigarette ash.
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Practicing law in Chicago is like going for a swim in a cesspool. Judges let the lawyers get away with just about anything, as they simply don't care enough to do their jobs. They are rarely prepared, never read the pleadings or motions on a case, and just rule "seat of the pants." Lawyers there have the attitude that if they don't push the envelope, others will and beat them out of a buck. The saddest part of all this is that Chicago is far from the worst.
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