Name That Weird Invention!

It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of crazy ideas in his Museum of Possibilities posts. Can you come up with a name for this one? The commenters suggesting the funniest and wittiest names will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop. Let your imagination run wild, and good luck!

Update: ladybuggs wins a t-shirt for coming up with the name "the Toothsayer"! Also tripleX had the second place winning name with "ayePad", but didn't specify a shirt. Honorable mentions to Andrew X for "Den-Tell" and to Trevor for "DenTell Plaque."