Lately, I've been trying to get an essay published in a scholarly journal. Maybe I have a chance with this one! The Journal of Universal Rejection, hosted by Pacific University, offers a timely response and permits simultaneous submissions. Editor Caleb Emmons writes of the advantages of his publication:
You can send your manuscript here without suffering waves of anxiety regarding the eventual fate of your submission. You know with 100% certainty that it will not be accepted for publication. There are no page-fees.
You may claim to have submitted to the most prestigious journal (judged by acceptance rate).
The JofUR is one-of-a-kind. Merely submitting work to it may be considered a badge of honor.
You retain complete rights to your work, and are free to resubmit to other journals even before our review process is complete.
Decisions are often (though not always) rendered within hours of submission.
A four-issue subscription costs £120 per year.
http://www.math.pacificu.edu/~emmons/JofUR/ via Marginal Revolution