What Would Happen If Every Element On The Periodic Table Came Into Contact Simultaneously?

In Popular Science, Bjorn Carey imagines a scenario in which all of the elements on the periodic table were present in the same location simultaneously:

Ramming the atoms together at 99.999 percent the speed of light—the top speed of particles in the Large Hadron Collider, at the CERN particlephysics lab near Geneva—might fuse a few nuclei, but it won’t make that cool Frankenstein element. More likely, they would meld into a quark-gluon plasma, the theoretical matter that existed right after the universe formed. “But they would last for a fraction of a second before degrading,” Tuckerman says. “Plus, you’d need 118 LHCs—one to accelerate each element—to get it done.”

The other approach, as explained by John Stanton, the director of the Institute for Theoretical Chemistry at the University of Texas, would be to toss a pulverized chunk of each element or a puff of each gas into a sealed container and see what happens. No one has ever tried this experiment either, but here’s how Stanton thinks things would play out: “The oxygen gas would react with lithium or sodium and ignite, raising the temperature in the container to the point that all hell would break loose. Powdered graphite carbon would ignite, too. There are roughly 25 radioactive elements, and they would make your flaming stew a little dangerous. Flaming plutonium is a very bad thing. Inhaling airborne radioactive material can cause rapid death.”

Once things calmed down, Stanton says, the result would be as boring as the atoms-only scenario. Carbon and oxygen would yield carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide. Nitrogen gas is very stable, and would remain as is. The noble gases wouldn’t react, nor would a few of the metals, like gold and platinum, which are mostly found in their pure forms. The things that do react will form rust and salts. “Thermodynamics wins again,” he says. “Things will always achieve equilibrium, and in this case that’s a mix of common, stable compounds.”


http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2010-10/fyi-what-would-happen-if-every-element-periodic-table-came-contact-simultaneously | Photo

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This is a Bissel Wampner, for realligning the plimsol marks on military cargo ships. Incorrect plimsol marks led to leeward warpage, especially on the Great Lakes of America and the western Caspian Sea. Originally the task of alignment went to the newest or least popular member, but with the implementation of The Maritime Safety Act off 1963, the alignment is performed by a trained monkey, or for ships flagged by the British Isles, a welshman.
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This is the prior art I need to finally break the design patent Nestle holds on (ice cream) Push Up Pops.

Children of the world rejoice! Inexpensive mess-free ice cream awaits you this summer!

Ha ha, just kidding. I'll piddle my life's savings away in court for another decade and die penniless clutching a naked Barbie doll in an alley in Levittown, New York.
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It is an Electreat apparatus, a neuromodulatory device for the relief of pain and improved vitality and health.

Y'all can bow to the neuroscientist now :p
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It's clearly one leg to old-fashioned bed frame. Before the technology existed for springs embedded in mattresses, they used spring-loaded legs on the frames.

This one is, of course, the Deluxe model which can be rolled away from the wall when using the latest space age dust sucking machine (pre-Hoover).
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This is an electrical device that takes d-batteries. You move the metal switch down to turn it on. It produces a an electrical charge when both your hands touch. (it's used for therapy stimulation of electrical connections)
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Craig - well found. "Electreat apparatus (1928-1938) Cylinder with roller on end, containing two flashlight cells; accessories included sponge, scalp brush, palm massage pad." Also, "A battery-operated device called the "Electreat" for giving a harmless electric shock. Before the manufacturer was enjoined by the Food & Drug Administration, Electreat was represented as helpful for goiter, kidney trouble, heart pain, broken bones, childbirth paralysis and deafness."
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This is a manual bomb deployment system. When your army doesn't have enough planes to bomb a city, you deploy your troops, each soldier carrying one of this things, to the target city. Once your troops arrive at the target location, they throw them as if they were throwing a hammer (olympic kind, not regular hammer, that would be just ridiculous) towards the roof of the target building.

Not pictured: see the little hole between the handle and the bomb? That's where the safety pin goes.
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It's a spool guide for a paper machine. when paper is produced industrially, steam filled rollers about 5 foot in diameter are used to dry the pulp and form it into a long continuous sheet. these rollers are used to guide the edges as it is in a dry state and being spooled
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This used to be a electreat (the mechanical heart) it was used to relieve pains in your body by putting a small current through your body.It uses batteries & usually has a few more attachments with it. but will work the way it is. The handle is the ground & the roller part would be the positive. Is quite the gadget & can give you a wake up call if turned up.
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