Submit your own Neatorama post and vote for others' posts to earn NeatoPoints that you can redeem for T-shirts, hoodies and more over at the NeatoShop!

Accompanist Needed

Want ads are sometimes hard to figure out because they don't give enough information. This one, however, is confounding because it gives a lot of information! It is supposedly looking for a piano accompanist for a singing tour. The requirements are very specific.
Some of my singing engagements take place late at night, in the homes of strangers, without audiences or music, and may appear to be elaborate art or jewel heists. For engagements like this, the accompanist may be called on to pick locks, crack safes, break windows silently and jump over large, sometimes barb-wire topped fences with me riding piggy-back at all times.

Accompanist must possess a thorough knowledge of the canine psyche in order to tame six to eight guard dogs simultaneously and then retrain them to attack their masters in under two minutes. Ideally, to keep everything music-themed, the taming/re-training would be done with a flute.

Proof of diplomatic immunity is a plus. See the whole thing at McSweeney's. -via Nag on the Lake

(Image credit: Flickr user alexanderward12)

After reading the whole thing, I've concluded that this would make an awesome comic. THE PIANIST! AND HIS SEVEN-FOOT-TALL SIDEKICK, THE ACCOMPANIST!
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Login to comment.
Click here to access all of this post's 1 comments

Email This Post to a Friend
"Accompanist Needed"

Separate multiple emails with a comma. Limit 5.


Success! Your email has been sent!

close window

This website uses cookies.

This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By using this website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

I agree
Learn More