Bacon Platter - $19.45
Whaaat? You're going to serve bacon, the most delicious thing on earth, on a plain dinner plate? Don't be silly: you need the Bacon Platter from the NeatoShop. The ceramic serving plate even has raised edges so the oh-so-yummy bacon juice doesn't dribble down wastefully on the table.
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But really, for a true travesty blaspheming all that /is/ Bacon, how about bacon toilet paper?