"Spare the rod, spoil the child" as the Bible tells us, but does spanking really work as a discipline method? A new study suggests that kids who were spanked were more likely to become aggressive:
The research, involving almost 2,500 moms, accounted for all sort of factors that might affect kids' behavior, including how aggressive they were to start with.
Researchers asked moms how often they spanked their 3-year-olds and also a bunch of questions about the kids' behavior. Two years later, the researchers checked back to see how the children were.
Even after factoring in all sorts of parenting risks, including drug use and neglect, the researchers found that kids who were spanked more frequently had a much greater chance of acting out aggressively two years later.
The young lady who is 16 and resents her grandmother for spanking... my heart goes out to you... Just have faith that you can break the cycle of violence. So many people that were abused as children seem to condone the abuse, even identifying with it. Because you can recognize the abuse for what it is... you have a chance to stop it.
My neighbours where I live all condone spanking children. Instead of true discipline, when ever the kids start acting out they get threatened with getting swatted. It only makes them act out worse. The oldest boy recently got kicked out of school because he hits other kids. He also can't read at the age of 8ish.
Children need their parents undivided attention and love. Parents need to read to their children everyday and spend time with them fostering their creativity and learning. And children need to be disciplined, not spoiled. They need to be taught how to do all the things they need to learn as adults, and when they make a mistake, they need to be respectfully told what they did wrong. Most importantly they need to be respected or they will never learn to respect themselves or others.
I have a friend that is a felon who was regularly beaten as a child. His mother never had enough time for him or his other siblings; and his father, who had a problem with teenage girls and heroin, committed suicide. His mother remarried, and would allow his step father to abuse all of them. His mother had all the boys on pills like Ritalin, because they all acted out all the time. They were crying out for her attention and love, and all she did was give them pills. Amazingly enough my friend still condones spanking children. Like the young lady of 16 years, he never wants children. He sais that all the people in his family grow up to be criminals. Its no wonder to me really.
I really liked this article on the topic of spanking-
This article clears up alot of misconceptions in some of the previous comments in this thread.
My half-brother grew up in his mother's house, where spanking or consequenses were absent. I, on the other hand, grew up with my father and mother who did spank us. My dad had a belt that he spanked my sister and I with. I, maybe, got a handful of spankings in my whole life and deserved every one of them. My sister and I both went on to graduate high school at the tops of our classes, and went on to college, and to have wonderful families of our own. My brother dropped out of high school and turned into a criminal. He is still a drain on society to this day refusing to get a job and still being taking care of by his mother. She never taught him that there are consequences for your actions. And he seems to think everyone else is responsible for him, never taking responsibility for himself. It is so sad. But I realize more than anyone, what a difference in upbringing can do to children.
If we don't get a handle on our children and turn around this obvious stray from actual discipline, I fear our society will self destruct when our children become adults. Its a sad thing to watch. I think it is the parent's responsibility to teach a child what it means to have consequences. And before the children have advanced logic and reasoning skills, the only sure fire way to show them is through appropriate spankings. I do think marks and bruises cross the line, however, a quick swat on the behind sends the message that out of control behavior will not be tolerated.
I've never been into a physical altercation with anyone in my life, and I got spanked with a belt 3 or 4 times in my youth. I have the best relationship with my parents. They are excellent parents.
Good luck to those of you rearing the little hellions that are increasingly becoming out of control on their way to the state correctional facilities.