What's The Best Way to Melt Lots of Snow?

Photo (origin unknown) via Dark Roasted Blend's pretty nifty article Lots of Snow!

Engineer Jeff the Baptist and victim of the recent Snowpocalypse has a problem: he's got a huge pile of snow in front of his house. Being an engineer, naturally he wants to use noggin-power to solve this problem:

My first thought was to sprinkle them liberally with rock salt. The problem is they're big enough that putting enough salt in place might be troublesome. My second thought is that the biggest piles are on my lawn and any salt will end up on or under my yard. I'd rather not salt my own fields as Rome did to Carthage.

My second thought is to stab some aluminum strips into the heart of the larger piles. Aluminum is an excellent heat conductor and is available in a number of forms at the local hardware store. If I can find some cheap strips (preferably black), I can essentially conduct heat into the heart of the pile. I could put them in in the morning and then pull them when I got home so they wouldn't cool the piles during the night. Not sure if they'd work, but it might be neat to try.

Thoughts from my fellow nerds?

I propose a flamethrower. How about you? Link - via The Zeray Gazette

Top 3 best/funniest answers will win T-shirts from the Neatorama Shop. Be sure to write your which T-shirt you'd like with your entry!

Update 2/24/10 - Great entries, guys! Congratulations to Brad ("Al Gore"), Zavatone ("Jet Engine for melting snow on railroad tracks"), and Lola ("Call Vancouver").

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Take a extra large heavy duty Tarp fold it in four and make 2 inch hole in middle. Spread over the snow pile and put some weight and burry the loose ends of tarp under snow & bring a large portable compressor attach its exhaust via 2 inch flex fire & heat proof hose insert in tarp let the engine run for couple hours heat from exaust will melt the pile.
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Get all of the US politicians to come over to his house and talk about how Global Warming is not a real issue. That should generate enough hot air to melt ALL of the snow for miles around....
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3xl tshirt please
announce to the world that you are undecided politacally. they will all come to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk to you.

Call Obama and ask for disaster relieft and maybe you can move into a fema trailer many warm miles away.

Tell your ex-wife her child support payment is there under the snow by the foundation....

call the FBI and let them know that this is where Jimmy Hoffa is supposed to be buried.....
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