100 Funny One-Liners

I feel like at least some of these one-liners should be attributable to their original sources.

@Ben R

That's what she said!

these are ridiculously funny. especially with a glass of wine in da belly.

All or most of these were pulled from old standup routines, keychains, and bumper stickers. Bottom-rung humor. I was expecting better, but I guess it was free.

Good call, nope. Also: most of these one-liners are two-liners.

Pure awesomeness!

WTH... it's like the first few of them are 2-liners.... o_O

Each one to be accompanied by this...

http://instantrimshot.com/

Over 90% of these are actually VAUDEVILLE ERA one-liners

One or two are from Broadway shows.

It always disappoints me when people think history started in 1994

There are some really good ones there!!!!

@Vodx:

Wait, you mean there was stuff before 1994? Then how come I don't remember any of it? And don't give me that, "Because you're only 20, you idiot!" stuff my mom always gives me. I'm tired of hearing it.

(Just kidding. It bugs me, too. Learn history, people!)