Three Wolf Moon Shirt

Sales of the "Three Wolf Moon Shirt" are up 2300% after word got out that it was getting priceless customer reviews on Amazon. Hundreds of reviewers are vying to be the funniest. The first one says, in part:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

It gets better from there. The manufacturer is not exactly pleased with the reviews. Link to story. Link to reviews. -via Fark

This is the same company that sells a trompe l'oeil kitten-in-your-bib-overalls-pocket t-shirt and they're gonna take offense when people mock their shirts?
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Customer review for Neatorama's "Large Hadron Collider" t-shirt:

I was delighted to find my new shirt in the post. The shirt is high-quality, virgin-white cotton, emblazoned with a veritable 'colliderscope' of color upon the chest, declaring "Hooray! No black holes! Go Science! I survived the Large Hadron Collider."

I was immediately gratified that the word 'science' was properly spelled with an exclamation mark at the end, as it was in Thomas Dolby's immortal classic song, "She Blinded Me with Science!"

The poetic words of triumph surround a graphic representation of our own planet Earth, which, in a mark of ironic relativism of scale, is orbited by our own moon (which we call the Moon), giving the suggestion of an hydrogen atom and its single orbiting electron. One might think that showing an electron would have a negative connotation, but I'm positive it does not here.

The shirt itself has become a social lightning rod in public, when I am offered some rare human contact and the chance to explain that no, they are not colliding large hadrons (the 'large' referring to the collider itself) and that, yes, America could have built an even better collider had we really wanted to.

These conversations are often energetic, and usually end with me explaining where Europe is, how it would impossible for everyone there to be homosexual and still maintain a viable breeding population, and then being challenged to name three Frenchmen who aren't jerks.

Thanks, Neatorama! I love it!
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I don't know I think some of The Mountain's (T-shirt seller) responses are pretty funny in themselves. Check out their reply on this review (

Posted on May 13, 2009 7:48 PM PDT
The Mountain says:
We at The Mountain do not guarantee that you will become a magnet for super models. There is no governing the fate of one man to secure the kindred love of a like-minded mate for life while baying at the moon on a warm Summer's night; to the man who wears not the 3 Wolf Moon and stumbles through life on a path of loneliness of one forgotten by the mortals he walks among.

To be asked upon vision quest would require a more appropriate attire of which can be searched on Amazon. Something more along the lines of Flight of the Shaman or One Family are sure to gain you access to these ancient rituals performed by our country's true founders.
To be part of the family you must have the ancient key and proper wardrobe.

We feel that your rating of 1 star is unwarranted as we make no claim to the hook-up as stated above nor do we guarantee a vision quest invite by wearing a wolf shirt. We will however take up the involuntary urine expulsion case and add it to our long list of Mountain shirt wearing miracles and try to file an NDA with the FDA because we are sure that this is a problem for many folks of your ripe old age.

If you find yourself in a position such as that again, we recommend removing the shirt from your torso and fashioning a diaper. The thickness of our shirts and the 100% cotton will prove a fantastic level of absorbability and for that we feel we deserve at least 3 stars from you.
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This seems to be taken straight from another bombing of a wolf-shirt comment page. I believe 4chan was responsible, though I may be mistaken.

An image of the comments can be found at

I believe this is the one that started the trend.
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I have long known the awesomeness that comes from a wolf-shirt in black.

I mouthed some righteous profanity when I saw that there was an ad for Zubaz pants on the side of the wolf-shirt page. It was a trifecta of awesomeness... but with just two parts.
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The customer photos were pretty amusing, but then I noticed the "Customers also viewed..." items:

Zubaz pants
"Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream"


"How to Live with a Huge Penis"
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At first I bought this shirt thinking it was a for the band Three Dog Night or that it was three dogs eating a cookie...either way I had to have it. When the shirt arrived in the mail I was furious for about two minutes, then I felt a little sick to my stomach because I had eaten too many chicken sausages, so I took some TUMS and felt better. After that I drank about 12 or 13 beers and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around 3 in the morning and was going to go crawl into bed when I noticed the "Three Wolf Howling at the Moon" shirt that I had totally forgotten about. "Of course!" I said to myself, "Three Wolves Howling at the Moon makes a lot more sense than three dogs trying to eat a cookie." I couldn't believe how stupid and senseless I had been prior to this revelation. What got me the most upset is that I had gone to half a year of community college and usually consider myself an athlete and a scholar. The best thing about this shirt is that it is black which symbolizes (of course) night which is when the moon comes out. Also when I wear it and my arms are coming out of the arm-holes and my head is coming out of the head-hole it is kind of like I am a wolf/moon super-villain which does absolutely amazing things to my ego.
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My sexy boyfriend has been making canine and wolf T-shirts for years. I'll take his Three Wolf Moon Tees any day as I can get them free, hee, hee, and they are the only thing I sleep in. Plus his design actually makes more sense to a girl as there is only a single male wolf howling at a giant Moon which has two female wolves superimposed upon the Moon with glowing red eyes lusting for the male wolf. Three male wolves is a little too dumb for me as if you know anything about wolves, the alpha wolf would never go for two other male wolves howling in its company. A single alpha wolf is what I would want and hence the wolf T-shirt that I sleep in has exactly that. It makes me feel like a well satisfied she wolf after a night of hot love making. Really, I think all this hoopla over the Three Wolf Moon just shows how ignorant people are. A smart girl would never go for such a shirt nor for any guy wearing it. Plus the one's that my boyfriend makes come with a nice thong and cups that we share drinking hot toddies out of before retiring to the water bed. But each to his or her own. For me I'll take Howling For Love any day over the idiotic three male wolves. Plus my boyfriend also made one of these with the slogan "Call of the Wild" which I think is a good association for any guy seeking wild girls to bed down with, even if just for a one night stand. Sorry guys, I'm alreaddy taken but if you send me a pic of you wearing my nothing but my boyfriends Howling For Love Tee, maybe I'll send you one of me wearing his Call of the Wild Tee ... and nothing else! :-)
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My boyfriend has his Howling For Love wolf Tees at
for anyone who is interested. Plus there are wolf sweatshirts, jerseys, cups, and tons of other stuff.
The Call of the Wild wolf tees are at
I'm wearing one of these right now and nothing else. They are very comfortable to sleep in or wear while sitting around the bedroom tap, tap, taping on the laptop. Enjoy!
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It is amazing that the posts on Amazon brought this much attention to the company. You can see our many designs in movies (Stepbrothers), worn by celebrities (Jack Black), at award shows, and on MTV cribs-Pink's closet was full with a collection of Mountain Tee's.
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The only thing that could be better than actually knowing a man who runs with the Three Wolf Moon shirt would be standing in front of a whole sales rack full of them at discount designer clothingsuperstore, Loehmann’s?
. Seeing all of them bursting with potential, smelling the muskiness of the fresh transfer ink, knowing they could be had for up to 65% off the prices found elsewhere.
I would buy one for all the men I know and use my Gold Club card for even more savings…it would be Shopping Nirvana…
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Access Hollywood on July 3, 2009 was showing footage of Michael Jackson's ex-wife Debbie Rowe and she was wearing this exact shirt. And I don't normally watch Access Hollywood. It was on as background noise while I was studying and fate led me to look up at the moment they showed Ms. Rowe wearing this shirt. As soon as I was done rewinding to confirm, I immediately turned the channel. To M*A*S*H in case you wondering.
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You've all been there, alone, naked, crying. What fear has gripped you? The same fear that grips any real man, lack of Wolf Shirt. See even the most bad ass Wolf Shirt needs to be cleaned once and a while, that's where this shirt comes in. Now I know what you are thinking: "Hey Internet, why don't I buy two Wolf Shirts, or maybe a sweet Shark Shirt as back up to wear when I wash the Wolf Shirt." Well you think you are so clever don't you Human?...It is because of idiot thoughts like that, that I the Internet will some day rule over you simpering meat sacks. The reason, as even a heartless machine knows it is plain to see, is that a man creates a special bond with his Wolf Shirt. A beloved friend, a companion, a lover. This is a sacred bond. If you had a real live wolf, and took it to a groomer to be cleaned, you wouldn't just leave it there and walk your other back up Wolf would you? I sure hope not, Christ to God I hope you have the mentality of a real man, a man that knows he could show no casual loyalty to his Wolf Shirt, but will enter into this sacred bond with the sincerity a real Wolf Shirt owner should have. So until you get a wolf tatoo on your chest, this is just going to have to do, ok?
The Internet
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Reminds me of the awesome Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen reviews on Amazon UK
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