Why You Shouldn't Ride a Motorcycle

Growing up, my father lovingly gave my brother and I three commandments that we absolutely, positively must not break: 1) no drugs 2) no religious cults and 3) no motorcycles.

Why no motorcycle? The way he put it: If you ride a motorcycle, when it rains, you get wet. When it's hot, you suffer, too. If a car hit you, you'd lose. If you hit a car, you'd lose as well. Now, how can one argue with that logic?

Apparently, Jeremy Clarkson of BBC TV's Top Gear show doesn't like motorcycle as well. If you're thinking of switching to a motorcycle to save on fuel, read what he wrote in his review of the Vespa scooter first:

If you use only the front brake, you will fly over the steering wheel and be killed. If you try to use the back one, you will use the wrong foot and change into third gear instead of stopping. So you’ll hit the obstacle you were trying to avoid, and you’ll be killed.

Then there is the steering. The steering wheel comes in the shape of what can only be described as handlebars, but if you turn them — even slightly — while riding along, you will fall off and be killed. What you have to do is lean into the corner, fix your gaze on the course you wish to follow, and then you will fall off and be killed.

As far as the minor controls are concerned, well . . . you get a horn and lights and indicators, all of which are operated by various switches and buttons on the steering wheel, but if you look down to see which one does what, a truck will hit you and you will be killed. Oh, and for some extraordinary reason, the indicators do not self-cancel, which means you will drive with one of them on permanently, which will lead following traffic to think you are turning right. It will then undertake just as you turn left, and you will be killed.

What I’m trying to say here is that, yes, bikes and cars are both forms of transport, but they have nothing in common. Imagining that you can ride a bike because you can drive a car is like imagining you can swallow-dive off a 90ft cliff because you can play table tennis.

However, many people are making the switch because they imagine that having a small motorcycle will be cheap. It isn’t. Sure, the 125cc Vespa I tried can be bought for £3,499, but then you will need a helmet (£300), a jacket (£500), some Freddie Mercury trousers (£100), shoes (£130), a pair of Kevlar gloves (£90), a coffin (£1,000), a headstone (£750), a cremation (£380) and flowers in the church (£200).

Link - via Locust & Honey

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Anytime we walk out or front door we are at some degree of risk. Even sitting safely in our living rooms we are at risk. Should we not drive our cars? Should we not fly on the plane? Should we not jog on the sidewalk? We all make decisions on the degree of risk that we are willing to accept. I think a majority of motorcycle riders are aware of the danger that riding entails. Just be careful and don't drink and drive.
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wow, this is retarded. thats not at all how motorcycles are and if you would just stop being such a puss you would realize how sweet they are. take a motorcycle safety training class and learn some useful information. i know this article is supposed to be humorous and yes it kinda was but if any one honestly thinks this is all there is to a motorcycle then thats just sad. i guess if you want re assurance of why you should live a boring life then you have came to the right place. lol keep riddin!!
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You really need to relax.Yes bikes are dangerous but dont be such pussy. If you pay attention and wear all your gear you will improve your odds. Most everyone I know who has crashed ended up in ER because of road rash. Think about that if they would have spent a couple hundred in gear they could have saved thousands on medical bills.
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yeah,there are a lot of experts out there,who have never ridden a bike in their life,in 35 years of riding and racing motorcycles I meet them all the time,I've never asked them for their opinion,but they feel compeled to try to "save me from these things".These are the people I'm most afraid of meeting on the street because the same idiot who put these ideas in their heads,are probably the same idiots that taught these morons how to drive in the first place! I just remind myself that 50 percent of the drivers on the road are below average drivers.I just wish people like these would start taking the bus!
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